No.1 Daddies (Ziam Daddy AU)

Chapter 15- Sober

NO.1 DADDIES WON 2ND PLACE! WOHOOO! THANK YOU GUYS! ILYSM 1437! 

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Chapter 15- Sober

Five months later,......

(Zayn's P.O.V)

I have been sober for nearly two weeks now.

After what I did to Liam and Louis, I felt so disgusted with myself. I wanted nothing more than to hold them in my arms and apologize; but I knew that it was not that simple. Both Liam and Louis were passed out on the floor when I left them. And Niall,.....Niall was crying, crying for me. My baby was confused and scared; he was terrified of me. I didn't know what to do, so I just left, found the nearest bar and got drunk, again. My mind was in a terrible state, and I could feel the numbing pain in my heart, literally breaking apart. What has gotten into me? What have I become?

I promised myself, I promised Liam, I promised Niall, Louis and Harry; I promised them that I would never hurt them nor let anything hurt them. But I fucked it all up. All those promises was a big fat lie coming out out of my worthless mouth. Everyday, every single fucking day, I would hear Niall's beautiful laughs, feel Liam's soft lips on mine, see Harry's cheeky smile, sounds of Louis singing with his euphoric voice. I realize that I don't deserve them, I don't deserve happiness, I don't deserve their love, I don't deserve to be loved but, I NEED them. Their my life, my air, my everything. Liam is the reason I'm still a human and Niall is the reason for the smile on my face. I'm dysfunctional without them.

“Are you ready Zee?” Ed poked his ginger haired head through the door. Ed was kind enough to pull me out of the bar even though I punched him in the gut twice. He lets me stay at his place to sober up but that didn't last long; I drank each and every bottle of beer in his apartment and I would sneak out when Ed's asleep to got to the nearest bar.

Ed had to struggle with keeping me sober, and after a week, I finally told him what happened. I even receive a harsh slap in the face for that. He told me to man up and tell Liam everything, but I was too scared. Scared of rejection, scared of everything. I hid myself in Ed's apartment, no bothering about work but after a month, I decided that I should leave Ed's apartment, much to his displease. I stayed at a vacation cabin Liam and I bought beside a lake. We only used once, which was during our honeymoon. Liam didn't want to have a fancy honeymoon overseas, he just want to spend some private time alone with me at the cabin where we first exchange our ''I love you''-s. It was the most magical 7 days of my life. Liam and I promised that someday we would bring the three little angels And now, after five months, I finally ready. I was ready to face Liam and my three little angels; and begged them for forgiveness. I know that it won't be easy, but I have to try.

“Y-Yeah, I'll be out in a sec,” I replied hoarsely. Every single night for five months I had been crying. I don't even know how is it possible that I still have any tears left.

***

The drive to my house was silence and awkward. Well, silence on my part that is. Ed kept blabbering happily about me reuniting with Liam, and him playing with his nieces that he haven't seen in five months. I was a nervous wreck though, I mean how could I not be? They might not even open the door for me. I don't care if had to beg for their forgiveness, I will do anything for them to accept me.