30. Undeserving

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30. UNDESERVING

As he approached Aiden's bedroom door, Julian couldn't shake how nervous he felt. The door was closed, as he expected it to be, but he could hear Aiden shuffling around inside. Julian sighed heavily and leaned his head against the door, knocking twice before speaking.

"It's me," he called out. The inside of the room immediately grew quiet as Julian tried to turn the doorknob only to find that Aiden had locked himself in. "Let me in, please? After everything that has happened tonight, can we make one attempt at trying to hold a civil conversation with each other?"

Seconds passed before Julian heard the lock on the door click.

His pulse had skyrocketed when the door opened. There stood Aiden in a fresh new suit looking as handsome as ever, despite the angry expression on his face.

"What more is there left to say?" Aiden muttered. "I fucked up. You fucked up. We both made mistakes. What else is there left for us to discuss?"

As Aiden started to close the door, Julian quickly slid into the room.

"I'm sorry that I spazzed out on you, okay?" Julian started. "I shouldn't have been that aggressive. It's just that the anger that I felt, that I still feel, I can't fathom why you went and put yourself in danger like that. A part of me wants to believe it's because you acted out on impulse, but the other part of me believes you did it because you were angry that I left to be with Lance."

Aiden broke off eye contact at the sound of Lance's name.

"You really should have been smarter in thinking that you didn't need to give me a ring when Jeremy reached out to you about Clarissa." Julian, his emotions getting the best of him again, wanted desperately to reach out and touch Aiden, but his arms were crossed, and he looked like he didn't want to be bothered. "And you're right, I should have been there with you and Cassie tonight. But how could I have been when you never called to tell me what was going on? So, you can't make me out to be the only bad guy here."

Aiden turned away from his lover because Julian's words hit him like a freight train. The truth hurt. Julian was more than right, and Aiden couldn't deny a word that he said. As much as he hated to admit when he was wrong, to make things right with Julian, Aiden had no other choice but to do just that.

"I overreacted," Aiden said. "I'm sorry."

"Overreacted?" Julian scoffed, shaking his head as he moved closer to Aiden. "You got pissed at me for all the wrong reasons. You got upset because you think that I chose Lance tonight over you when in reality, it wasn't like that at all." Julian grabbed Aiden by the arm, making him turn around to face him. His normally compelling green eyes were now red and puffy, almost as if he'd been crying. "I don't get why you don't understand that he wasn't the only one to lose someone that he loved tonight. Lance and I were very close and so was I with what little family he had left. That woman meant a lot to me, Grayson. And now she's gone within the blink of an eye. I mean, goddamn it I was there when she took her last breath... I'm fucking grieving and you're standing here pissed at me because of what? I went to send my condolences to someone that I cared about? How in the world can you get mad and punish me for that?"

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