Kavi One Shots

a letter she'll never read

sometimes i feel as if i don't deserve you / i cherish every moment that we share

—if i ever fall in love - pentatonix ft. jason derulo—

you let me in then shut me out / you have to learn to love again

—love again - pentatonix—

•••••

Kirstie Maldonado's POV

I stared at my phone and the text that was on it.

Mitch: You'll fall in love again. I promise. Forget that douche.

I sighed, knowing that he was utterly wrong. I won't be able to love anyone after him.

He broke me. My heart is apart of me. He broke my heart. I will never be able to trust anybody ever again, I think.

He showed me the worst in people and the worst it was. I never want to see that side of anyone. Mitch, Scott, Kevin and... Avi... helped me through this. Well, was trying to anyways. They told me that I will love again. I ranted to myself by writing; it was a habit of mine.

I couldn't see the best in people anymore. I only saw their flaws; I saw the world's flaws. I didn't focus on the beauty of this world, rather on how ugly it is. Wars are being fought right now. People are dying. A child is being abused. A woman is being raped.

I couldn't see the light of anything anymore; all I saw was the darkness of it. I couldn't see the positives, only the negatives.

I gained depression quickly, and only because of one person. Because of the effect that person had on me.

I was like the weeds compared to the flowers. The yellow grass compared to the green. The rotten apple compared to the red, ripe one. I was the thing everyone would think twice about even touching because a slash was apparent on me. I was the second choice of the little girl that chose between two dolls at the store.

I was me.

And that was enough to hurt anybody.

I looked at the bottle of painkillers on my bedside table. I had the ability to drown my sorrows in those; to get rid of them completely. I had the ability to die in that exact moment. I had the power to say goodbye to everyone and everything right then.

I texted the four people that changed my life and sent them a goodbye.

to: Avi, Kevin, Mitch & Scott:
Kirstie: goodbye

***

Avi Kaplan's POV

My phone dinged and checked, jumping when it was a text from Kirstie. I tapped it and my heart stopped. My world stopped. I ignored Kevin's words and stared at my phone screen. One word, a thousand feelings. I looked to Kevin for a moment before sprinting out of the coffee shop and to Kirstie's house. Kevin followed me, probably seeing the text.

I made my way there after driving, parking and attempting to kick her door down. I jiggled the knob and it didn't budge. "Kirstie!" I yelled, hoping to gain her attention. I muttered a 'fuck it' and kicked the door down the best I could. It didn't budge.

Scott appeared and fished in his pocket, finding a key chain. He looked for one, found it and opened the door with ease. I pushed past him and up the stairs, to her bedroom. I kicked her door (and this time it worked) and I froze at the sight in front of me.

She was unconscious on the ground next to an empty pill bottle. "Fuck," I whispered as I grabbed her, going back down. Scott took her from me as he was stronger and I followed him down to my car quickly. He set her in the back and I drove to the hospital. Scott joined me as Kevin and Mitch took another car.

"She's gonna be okay," he said to me as he got in the passenger's side, trying to soothe me. I shook my head a bit too forcefully, "I hope so."

We made it there. I rushed Scott out and told him to help her out and he obviously obliged. We ran in and I demanded someone to help. A man came over with two women and they helped her into the hospital room.

Kirstie, please be okay.

***

I sat in the waiting room anxiously. I hoped, even prayed that she was going to be okay. A woman approached me with a commiserating look.

"I'm sorry..." She started.

***

a letter she'll never read,

why couldn't you have told me that you were contemplating that? I should've been there to help you. you know I would've been there, Kirstie... so when you didn't, it hurt. I hurt. my entire world is now completely turned upside down because you're gone now. everyone's is.

Pentaholics and the rest of the band... we are not okay.

Mitch is back to his old self; exactly like you were. depressed, suicidal and tarnished. Scott is gaining himself some depression, too, I bet. Kevin hasn't spoken to anyone because you were one of the first people he'd ever talk to in the day. you were everyone's last thought as they fell asleep and the first as they woke up.

as for me, i'm not coping well either. I love you, Kirstie and I have for so long. the fact that that man did this to you emotionally makes me want to tear his eyeballs out with a spork. he didn't deserve you.

and I don't deserve you. I never have. you were this bubbly ball of excitement and energy. you were this girl that I always wanted to kiss and this girl that also made me want to tear my hair out.

goodness, Kirstie, you were amazing but you had your flaws. everyone has their flaws. yours was not having the strength to get through this. I understand.

I know that love is just a noun that can mean anything; from family love to romantic love.

but let me say one thing, Kirstie.

I loved you.

and nothing will change that. you may no longer be here physically and I know you probably don't share the same feelings as me.

but I loved and still do love you.

***

::a/n::

Well aren't I blossoming happiness this week?

Tbh once I update a sad one shot I never stop updating more sad ones.

sORRY BABES

❤️ Ashley