Dear xxAddictedLovexx,
Just minor corrections:
-It's 'gaped' instead of 'gapped'
-"Look," Kyle sighed, "We need to talk,"
-Italicize anything that she thinks. (Italics)
Very interesting! The story is well layed out, and you look like you have a plot. One thing... change the title name, because you will see a lot of 'The Bet's' on Wattpad! Not good. Maybe something symbolic... Um... let me think... Example: In the hands of a matchmaker. Because, I, as the reader, think that Jason is being a bit of a matchmaker. Or.... From a dying flower to a new rose. Because she gets dumped so much, this is kind of like her becoming a new rose, a new opportunity!
Very well written, I would continue! On the Wattpad Magazine, by octoberiswild you should ask to put you for that 'Undiscovered Gem'. Who knows, octoberiswild might choose YOU! OR, people might read the comments, read your story, and soon, your popularity may go up! This is a really good story, I can see you will shape it up nicely!
xox, Noname O.o
Date: 10 August 2011
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