Well, this is an entertaining story!
Right off the bat -- correct your spelling mistakes.
Also, you tend to not put proper punctuation and capitals.
All in all, the storyline is pretty smooth, so is your writing.
Continue, it's off on the right foot!
Only one thing -- where is her father, or are you revealing it later?
Keep it going, I can't really criticize it!
YOU ARE READING
BOOK SUGGESTIONS/ CRITICIZE FOR FREE! :)
RandomHave you ever wanted somebody to critique your stories and/or give some tips? Well I'm here for the job! In the comments area, suggest your story here and I will tell you my opinion, if you should continue, and some tips to entice your readers to r...