As interesting as this is, I must say: it's too long for me to give any tips. Could you enrich your writing? It seems it's a bit...how shall I say this....plain?
Use new words that interest you and your readers, use rich vocabulary that expands your and your reader's minds. Use interesting sayings and terminology and give the characters more personality. Explain the surroundings a bit more and add detail.
Would you like me to be direct? If so, read the next sentence. I if not... then don't. All I have to say is... it bored me. Sorry, it did.
Date: 24 April 2011
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