One Direction Imagines

I'll Never Let You Go (Harry Styles)

Heart beats harder.

Eyes are wetter.

Silence fills your bedroom; the only sound that fills the room is the sound of your silent sobs and mind racing, followed by the soft sound of vibrations coming from your phone gripped tightly in your hands as horrible twitter notifications fill up your Lock screen. Your Horrified, not only of what you see in the mirror but the thoughts that wave through you. You never loved yourself; you never like looking in the mirror. You put make up on and do your hair, but it all seems like it’s just a show that never has an ending, and to say that you were fairly skinny would be an understatement. You were skinny. Really skinny. But, your boyfriend Harry always told you, you were perfect no matter what and that he loves you, but how can you truly love him back if you can’t love yourself the same way? Now you’re standing here in front of the full crystal clear mirror in nothing but your underwear, your rich medium length waves of brown hair pulled back, Beautiful deep brown/hazel orbs cleaned with no makeup at all, you are crying your eyes out but you wipe them away once you hear a gentle knock on the door. “(Y/N)?” you can’t speak, if you do all that will come out is tears, you keep staring at the mirror and cover your mouth with your hand “(Y/N)?” Harry calls out again this time opening the door, he slowly yet eagerly opens the door and lets himself in “(Y/N), are you alright? What’s wrong?” sadness laces his bright green orbs, as concern dominates his voice. You slowly turn your head to face him, eyes red, hair messy, and mouth covering the escape of all your sobs full of fear and sadness, tears running down your face falling one by one on the wood flooring. Harry walks into the room and closes the door, locking it. You stay where you are, you know what happens next. Sympathy, you don’t what that, you don’t want him to walk over to you and say ‘you’re so beautiful, I love you forever!’ then he hugs you and things are all better. No. You want him to stand there and tell you, all your flaws and tell you you’re perfectly imperfect. No sugar coating. “Baby, what’s wrong. Tell me.” He walks closer to you, arms fully open to pull you in for a hug; you take a few steps back. Hurt is written all over his face “No” you whisper looking at the floor “what?” His voice is strained “Love, you know how beautiful I think you are and how much I lo-“you cut him off, unexpected anger rising in you “No.” you say louder more stern, his eye brows furrow indicating he is getting angry.

This isn’t the first time this has happened, you have been this way for most of your relationship. You love harry more than you love yourself, but, your heart tells you that’s not possible, although, harry loves you. You’re his everything and the fact that the beautiful girl he sees doesn’t believe that she’s worth more than gold. Angers him, and at any moment he’s going to explode. This is that moment. “GOD! (Y/N) WHY CANT YOU JUST BELIEVE ME. WHEN I SAY YOUR BEAUTIFUL?!” his chest rises then fells harshly out of anger and frustration. But, all you can think is why he is always being so…ugh! He just doesn’t understand! The tears fell harder as you screamed at him “BECAUSE HARRY. LOOK AT ME, IM UGLY HALF THE TIME IM WITH YOU ALL I WANT IS TO KNOW WHY YOU’RE WITH ME IN THE FIRST PLACE. THE FANS OBVIOUSLY DON’T EITHER, YOU ALWAYS TELL ME TO IGNORE THE HATE IT DOESENT MEAN ANYTHING THAT THEY ARE ALL JUST JEALUS BUT, I CANT STAND ANY OF THIS BULLSHIT ANYMORE, YOU TELL IM BEAUTIFUL EVERY DAY AND I APPRECIATE THAT BUT, I KNOW IM NOT. AND THEN I LOOK AT YOU…” Shock covers his face like a mask, His heart breaks with every word you say he closes his eyes and sighs “LOVE… I WORDS CANNOT DESCRIBE HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU AND HOW PERFECT YOU ARE! AND THE FANS? IGNORE THEM. THEY MEAN NOTHING! I THOUGHT THAT ALL THAT MATTERED TO YOU WAS HOW ALL YOUR FRIEND AND FAMILY AND I THOUGHT OF YOU AND HOW MUCH WE LOVE YOU. THE HATE MEANS NOTH-” “MEANS WHAT HARRY?! NOTHING? OH, LETS SEE ABOUT THAT, SHALL WE?” Your pissed you’re angry and you don’t know why… you lift up your phone and read one of the tweets that are flashed on your phone, Sarcasm present in your voice “Oh look harry! This one is my favorite! It says “go to hell you ugly ass piece of trash, why is harry even with you?! Go back to where you Fucking.Came from.” Your voice rising yet cracking at the end of that sentence anger and frustration washing away and sadness filling you, Harry’s chest falls and his eyes fill with love and promise and sympathy he wants nothing more than to walk over to you and kiss you and fix you… But, he doesn’t want you to reject him any further, you need him. Your voice calms, as you continue “Harry… you’re absolutely stunning and then I’m just… your fucking rag doll. I love you… I love you so much it hurts, but then I think… how can I love this man in front of me, when I can’t even love myself?” Your staring him right in the eyes “You have no Idea… what I’d give… to be invisible…” your voice cracks at the end and you fall to your knees with a thud hands over eyes are getting soaked as you cry your eyes out. Harry can’t stand this anymore, so he walks over to you and sits on the floor next to you and hesitantly hold you in his arms and you melt into his warm arms. You both sit there in silence, you can cut the tension in the room with a knife until; harry talks “You are the most perfectly imperfect gir- Women I’ve ever met. Yes, your eyes aren’t perfectly shaped but I could stare into them all day, and Yes, You don’t have commercial perfect hair, but, I love running my hands through it every day before we fall asleep, and so what if you’re really skinny?! Yeah, curves are nice but, you’re healthy and beautiful and I would never judge you for your weight or any part of you. I don’t want any other girl, so don’t worry about me leaving you… I’ll never let you go…” he whispers the last part as he kisses your forehead and holds you tighter, you cuddle up to him you look up at him with tear stained cheeks “I’m sorry…” he sighs “(Y/N).. don’t apologize you have no reason too, I shouldn’t have gotten angry I just hate hearing you talk down about yourself… promise me something?” you furrow your eyebrows in confusion “what?” “Promise me… that you will learn to love yourself as much as you love me and that you will always come to me when you need reassurance, because you are the most beautiful and perfectly imperfect girl I’ve ever learned to love” at this point you both were crying.. Not from sadness or anger, but from love. “I promise… I love you so much” he looked into your eyes and crashed his lips to yours; it was the most passionate, eager, love-filled kiss you both have ever shared. He pulled back and you looked into his eyes that were filled with love and promise and in what felt like forever you smiled and closed your eyes, and fell straight into his arms as if he were the last thing you would ever feel in your entire life as he whispered soothingly into your ear “I’ll never let you go”

CREDITS: http://parisfranceandthroughberlin.tumblr.com/