Our Own Notebook (Louis Tomlinson)

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“Who’s your first kiss?” He asked me as working his hand on my hair.

The cold London air was blowing at the roof top of our flat. It’s a tradition; him braiding my hair, and us talking about nothing. All of this would be stupid—ridiculous, even, if it were not with Louis.

I smiled, and closed my eyes, feeling another wave of wind came. “Truth is; I’ve never been kissed before we dated. You’re my first kiss, Lou,” I chanted, drumming my fingers on my knees softly. I felt his hand stopped for a second, probably startled by my answer. But it’s true, he’s my first kiss.

I could feel him smiled as he replied, “Mine wasn’t you, [Y/N]. But I really hope you’ll be my last kiss.” Louis then tied my hair to finish his work, and soon sitting next to me on our lazy chair. We were staring at the star-bright night, not saying a word, just… Enjoying each other’s presence. Summer was pretty hot on days, but when it came to nights, it’s freezing. And even though this was the third summer we’d spent together—doing our tradition—I still feel the spark that feeling my guts every time I look at Louis.

“[Y/N], let’s go nowhere tomorrow. I’ll call in sick to the studio. They’ll do fine one day without me. I’m gonna take you to a dinner,” Louis spoke suddenly. He put his weight on his left elbow, staring at me. A smile grew on my face as I did the same; facing him. “Well, where to, Monsieur? Fancy restaurant?” I asked, reaching to him for a kiss. He gave me a peck, “well, madam, it’s a secret I cannot tell. Just wear the white dress you wore on our first date,” another peck, “that’ll do best for tomorrow.” And finally, a real kiss.
I nodded, not expecting that the next day, Louis brought me to our roof top. But nothing like our roof top; it was beautiful. My rose garden was glooming by the christmas tree lights, the spot where our lazy chair usually be, was replaced by a clothed-table, and two chairs. He surprised me, and asked Liam and Zayn to be our servant for the night; while Harry and Niall were in charged for the food, my favorite food; mushroom ravioli, we ate.

By the end of the night, the other boys suddenly came out from their hiding, and serenaded us with Give Me Love by our favorite ginger. And that was when my mouth went wide-opened. Louis got down on one knee, and pulled open the black-velvet box. I was out of word, and when I do, I’d done this thing where I fanned my face with both hands; trying to stop the incoming tears. Louis chuckled; and began his speech.

And when he asked me to marry him; I said yes in every language I know. French, english, mandarin, spanish, japanese and so on until Louis cut me off with a kiss. The night ended beautifully when we dance with an acoustic version of Kiss Me.

Now, I’m sitting on the uncomfortable chair beside Louis’ hospital bed a year after the sweet memory I recalled. Exactly this time a month ago, Louis had suddenly fainted right in front of me. Truth to be told, he has a bad heart. It was a cardiac arrest, caused by stress level, and on and on I can’t remember.

The doctor said he would be gone if I weren’t fast enough.

It’s not fair. We’re finally have our perfect life on the line. After having our postponed honey moon to Bora Bora, this is all I get?

The thoughts nearly brought me to tears but of course, someone beat me to it. Jay came in with red eyes, holding the twins in both her hands. She was crying; and so was Dan. Poor Jay, she’d never thought this would happen. Any of us, exactly, never expected this to happened. Modest had to postponed the South America tour because of this.

“[Y/N] darling, go to sleep. We’ll watch over him now. You need to rest, it’s for your baby too, sweetheart,” Jay’s gentle hand rubbed my shoulder, reminded me that I still need to think about another life beside Louis’. No, not mine. But our baby’s life.

“Alright, um, I’ll call Per-“

“Perrie is outside, Honey. I called her earlier. Sleep tight, [Y/N]. Thank you so much,” Jay gave me a bone-crushing hug, followed by the twins and Dan.

I gave my husband one last glance before stepping out of the room.

The whole ride back to Zayn and Perrie’s house was silent. Nobody dared to say anything. This turn of event has left us quiet.

The following morning, after dealing with morning sickness and crazy, growing appetite, I had accompany Jay again. Dan took the twins back to mine and Louis’ house. We were sitting in silence when Jay suddenly stand. “I’m gonna get a coffee, can I get you something, sweetie?” Jay smiled, the crinkles by her eyes were reddened by the whole-night crying session I knew she’d had.

Grabbing Louis’ left hand, I smiled to her. “I’m good, Jay. Thank you,” I said to her. She nodded, and left.

The moment the door closed, I let out a frustration cry. “Wake up, Lou. I can’t stand seeing you like this. It’s been a month, Lou. I want to see your beautiful eyes again—no, i miss them. I miss your jokes, I miss the funny faces you pulled when I was down. But most importantly, I miss you. Please come back,” I sob, resting my head on his arm.

I don’t care how loud my voice is, I just had to say this. Inhaling, I continued, “Remember what you said to me that night when you proposed me? You said you’ll always be here, right by my side, no matter what happened. Lou, we’re supposed to be the most unbreakable couple in the world, two against the world. Remember?”

“You vowed to me that you’ll help me go trough the morning sickness I would had when we’re pregnant. Get up now baby, you need to fulfilled your vow. Be here with me, so I’m not alone. Be here with me, to watch little Tommo running around the house, already dream big like his father did when he’s at his age. A-and…” I sniffed, taking a deep breath to continue.

“And just like I always do when you’re away for tour, one morning I’d opened my eyes because I feel your touch that was not supposed to be there. But you were there anyway, flew across the world just to surprised me; just to see me smiling again. C-can you do the same, Love? Open your eyes, go back from tour, make me smile again…” My voice were worn out as I finished talking.

I continually sobbed to myself, knowing anyone wouldn’t hear since the walls are noise-proof. One minutes, three, ten, thirty minutes later, I was tired; I was mentally and physically tired. I ran out if tears, and my eyes were swollen. When I began to dozed off, I felt a slight squeeze on my hand. And all the lack of energy I previously had, is all gone in a millisecond.

My eyes were fixed on Louis, mentally telling him to do it again, and he did. This time, it’s stronger. And eventually, his eyelids flutter opened, revealing the blue eyes I’ve been missing for so long, even though they’re tired.

The tears I thought were gone, came back to me, pooling on my eyes making my vision blurry. I almost chocked by my own tears when a murmur came from Louis.

“I-I can d-do that, Love.” Soon after, I saw him smiling, making the little dimple on his right cheek showed up. 
I don’t care how overreacting the hug I gave Louis right after that, I just care about Louis, my Louis, is now back from tour. He chuckled, and placed his arms on my center back. Eventually rubbing it with his hands in slow motion, trying to soothe me down.

“I love you, Louis. Don’t leave me again, please.” I managed to say between my tears, somehow I said it loud and clear, for I thought it would be raw and awfully low. He buried his head on the crook of my neck, inhaling my scent; his soap I used. “I love you too, [Y/N]. Forever. And I promise you, I won’t, if you let me sleep,” Louis giggled.

40 years later
Louis and [Y/N] were sitting on their rocking chairs at the roof top of their house. The house they’d bought five months before little Andrew born, three months after Louis was released from the hospital—four days after [Y/N]’s voice brought him back to life.

When Andrew William Tomlinson, their first child, was three years old, [Y/N] gave birth to twins. A daughter and another son, Louise Marie Tomlinson and Louis Mark Tomlinson just completed their life. They felt perfect.

Even though they are now old, and weak, but their love is as strong as the sun. She still gets butterflies in her guts when she sees him, when she thinks about him, when she’s with him. He still gets goosebumps when he sees her, when he hears her voice; the voice that has been the music of his life, and when he touches her.

Their intertwined hands are trembling, but they remained still. They don’t want to miss their tradition, looking up at the night sky on summer days, just like old times. Telling each other I love you’s.

CREDITS: https://twitter.com/sstyles_x

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