"Riley, relax, we have to learn about it eventually." I laughed sitting next to her. She was shaking her leg and making weird faces while flipping through her class book.
"Why? Why do we have to learn about this?"
"Because we're growing up."I sighed. More students and the teacher came into the classroom as the bell rang. Lucas and Farkle joined Riley and I at the row of desks in the middle of the classroom.
"Can anyone tell me what abstinence is?"
A few students raised their hands, but I'm sure a lot of people were too embarrassed to explain this to everyone in the class.
"It means that you remain pure and you don't have sex until you're married." Farkle said when the teacher called on him.
"Good. Now does anyone know what it truly means to remain abstinent?"
I looked around, and the whole class shared the same confused expression that I had. How many definitions of abstinence are there? Just keep your legs closed until you say I do!
"This means that-" She stopped when the classroom door opened and Billy appeard with a tardy slip.
"Mr. Ross, you're late. Take a seat." Billy nodded and took a seat... behind me. Lucas rested his elbow on my chair and I focased back on the teacher.
"As we know, abstinence is staying pure until marriage. This means no sex. What some people don't know is that this includes sex, oral sex, and foreplay." A few giggles were heard from the back of the classroom and I rolled my eyes.
"Who here plans to stay abstinent?" I hoped the whole class would raise their hands, I know I did.
"Let's move onto a more serious topic, who here can tell me what it means to be sexually assulted?"
Someone in the back of the classroom explained the answer and the teacher nodded in approval. I noticed Lucas had raised his hand and I immediately felt very warm and nervous.
"What are you doing?" I whispered.
"I just have a question." He said back.
"Lucas?" The teacher called. Lucas put his hand down and folded his arms on the desk.
"Does... unwanted kissing count as sexual assult?" I bit the inside of my cheek and began to shake my leg.
"Yes, it does. It's most common among people your age."
Lucas nodded his head and he turned around in his chair and looked at Billy. Lucas turned back around quickly and the class bell rang. End of the day.
Lucas and I walked to his house, hand in hand. When we got to his apartment, he immediately went to the kitchen and pulled some stuff out of the refrigerator.
"Lucas I'm not-"
"Yes you are." He interupted. "If you don't start eating you're going to end up in the hospital, and you hate hospitals."
"How'd you know I hate hospitals?" I smirked, sitting down at the dinning room table.
"Riley told me." I laughed as he sat some fruit and juice infront of me.
"Lucas..."
"Eat, Maya. You're going to end up in the hospital with an IV in your arm and they're going to force food down your throat. I'm giving you the choice to eat willingly, or I know for a fact in the near future you're going to end up sicker than you already are."
"But I ate at lunch-"
"No you didn't. You've been too upset to eat at lunch. We sit at the same table, Maya!" Lucas sat down next to me and I looked down at the bowl of fruit infront of me.
I sighed and started to eat piece by piece, imagining myself laying in a hospital bed with an IV in my arm.
"So are you excited for Christmas?" Lucas asked.
"I guess." I shrugged.
"You guess? Christmas is a happy time of year, you can't be bummy and upset." I laughed and took a sip of the juice Lucas had set infront of me.
"Let me be bummy if I want, I'm good at it."
"And I'm good at making people not bummy, so I guess we make a great team." Lucas raised his eyebrow and continued a conversation about Christmas and New Years and whatever came to his mind.
"Hey guess what?" He smiled.
"What?"
"Look, you finished all of your food. When's the last time you did that?"
"It's definitely been a while." I smiled to myself and looked down at my stomach. I followed Lucas into his room and I layed down on his bed, thinking about the food I just ate.
"What're you thinking about?" Lucas asked. I looked up at him and shook my head.
"I know something's going on in your head." He layed down next to me and I rolled onto my side to look at him.
"It's nothing, Lucas, honest."
"Hey, you know I think you're really strong right? You just ate and I know whatever's going on in your head is pretty powerful, and for you to go against it is a really strong thing to do."
"Can we not talk about it, Lucas, please?" I rolled back over onto my back and stared at the ceiling.
"Then can we talk about this?" Lucas' thumb was rubbing my collar bone and I took a sharp breath in. It doesn't hurt anymore, but the thought of it does.
"There's nothing to talk about, Lucas." I said quietly. I moved his hand away and pulled the loose collar of my shirt up to cover it.
"This isn't something you should keep to yourself, Maya. It's going to eat away at you until you go insane."
"I just... I didn't want to make him mad, Lucas... I didn't know what was happening and I didn't know what was going to happen." My eyes watered. I remembered the feeling of Billy's lips on mine, and his hands pulling me closer to him.
"You didn't do anything wrong, Maya. he took advantage of you."
"Lucas stop..."
He sighed and rested his head on a pillow that was next to him. He layed his face close to mine and I could feel his breath on my cheek. He started to move forward but I moved my face back and put one of my hands in between us.
"He really freaked you out, huh?"
"I'm sorry, Lucas." I sighed. I moved closer to him and curled up next to his chest.
"Don't be sorry, Maya. I still really like you. Like you said, Billy isn't going to come between us. I'll be here for you, Maya. Whether you want to kiss me or not, that's not what's important to me. What I care about is the fact that you're here and you're okay."
