Exiled by Society

Half of what I felt

"We're required to have your parents pick you up."
"Ok.." I muttered. The nurse went into the back room and I slipped away and out the door before she could turn back. I finally breathed the sweet air and the outside for once. I stepped onto the street and a car zoomed past. I haven't had freedom for so long, I forgot how to be.
I finally made it to my neighborhood. I saw the kids from the skate store and they just eyeballed me and I heard the words psycho and kill herself come out. I saw Katja and a girl from youth group. I then saw Nathan, he looked up from the ground and then back. My limbs felt so numb and the ground felt so hard. My bones they were so brittle and my face was so pale. My hair hung over my face and I just felt everyone's eyes on me.
"What are you all staring at!" I shouted turning in circles at them. The kids riding there tricycles and playing tag even got scared. I turned to run and then Ashley was in front of me, she held my arms and stared at me with fear.
"Crystal you look sick.." She said. My stomach roared so loud, you could possibly hear it from around the corner. I looked like a zombie to everyone, I'd look into people's eyes and they'd back away. What has that place done to me? I didn't fit in with the autumn reds, yellows and oranges, I was like winter and death.
"I can't go home.." I said with droopy eyes.  She then put her arm around me and started walking me to who knows where. This hunger, it distorted my vision and I felt like I was floating.
"Crystal?" Said an echoey voice. My head tilted back and my lips parted as I was going to say something but I could not put together a sentence. I then felt a pair of heavy hands carry me up and into a room that was decorated all white resembling the hospital.
"Am I in the hospital?" I asked sounding delirious. They sat me up against the wall and placed a spoon full of what tasted like applesauce. I swallowed the first four spoons but on the fifth I felt the urge to push it all out. The apple sauce when up to the back of my throat, I tried to get up and run but I couldn't so It went all over the floor. I then dropped down and laid there,
"What's wrong with me?" I groaned.
"Run her a bath!" Someone shouted and then I heard someone turn on the faucet. I got carried to the bathroom,
"Turn around I have to take her clothes off." I tried to help but my senses, they were still all fucked up. I then sat in the warm water and stared at the ceiling.
"Crystal can you see?" I zoned back in and my vision was clear now. I looked to the side of me and there stood Nathan, Ashley and her mom.
"What happened?" I asked.
"You were passing out, throwing up, you looked terrible."
"Wow, thanks.." I looked at Nathan and he looked back but we didn't say a word.
"We'll leave you too.." Ashley quickly exited closing the door and taking her mother with her.
"Ashley!" I shouted. I looked down at the water,
"Thanks." I managed to say.
"Your welcome." He sat on top of the sink counter.
"Did I really look like a zombie?"
"Not really... Sort of." He laughed and I laughed too.
"Wow.. This is embarrassing." I said.
"I'm not judging you." He then sat on the floor next to me creating intense waves between us.
"You're always here for me....I don't deserve someone like you." I said.
"Truth is I don't deserve someone like you... Crystal I don't think you know how beautiful and how exquisite your existence is. It's like I could spend all day wondering how you were created to be so lovely. I could spend all day just tracing the outlines of your skin and observing every feature on your body like that birth mark on your collar bone. I'm such a horrible person but you make me want to be better.." He said. I was now breathing heavily with my lips parted, I was lost for words. I kissed him. I don't know why it felt like my lips jumped onto his face. He then came in for another one and when we went to get closer the only thing separating us was the bathtub. We both looked down with our foreheads connected. He put his hand on my face and I put mine on his...
"I kinda like you." He said. And I smiled.
"I'll let you clean up now." He said standing up. I nodded my head in response and he shut the door behind him. I laid back inhaling this situation and exhaling. I slipped into the water just forgetting everything feeling nothing but complete bliss.

After 20 minutes I got out and went into Ashleys room. She had laid some clothes out for me , what a good friend. I put on the ripped baby blue jeans, white tang top with a black hoodie over it. My hair was curly so I just left it how it was. I looked into her vanity mirror tracing the scars on my face and scenes of the horrific events flashed in my head. I lifted my shirts and looked at the bruises on my body... Something I never wanted Nathan or anyone to see. Someone knocked at the door and I jumped a bit.
"Come in." And to my surprise it was Nathan.
"Hi." I said looking in the mirror putting my hands over the scars, I didn't know they were that bad. He stared at me for a few seconds then went behind me. He put his arms around me and grabbed my hands pulling them down. He just held me there and I was shaking looking at me in the mirror. He kissed my neck softly two times. He then whispered in my ear,
"I crave you." My heart began racing. He turned me around and we were now facing each other. He placed his hands on my hips bringing me closer. If I let him in.. I could get hurt I thought and I was going to take his hands off but then I also thought, you can't choose wether you get hurt or not but you do have a say on who gets to hurt you. So I smashed my lips into his wrapping my arms around his neck. He picked me up with such a strong grip placing me gently on the bed. He ran his hand from my neck down to my leg. He then laid back and I was now on top of him. After a while I sat up and he intertwined his hands with mine. I smiled at him and he looked back at me. He didn't have to smile for me to know he was smiling. I could see the feeling in his eyes. He grabbed me and stood up placing me on the ground. Let's go princess he said. I almost melted inside. He went downstairs and I followed. When we went outside I saw everyone. This time I felt like I was full of color and joy. I wasn't like the autumn still I was more like spring and i felt flowers flourishing inside of my bones. sometimes the acid rain in my brain kills the flowers in my heart but not this time. The rain stopped and the sun kissed my face. Nathan grabbed my hand and everyone saw, they were shocked. I cheesed so hard, but I could see Katja from afar heart broken. Normally I would put do this but I kissed Nathan and looked her straight in the eye. Now she would feel half of what I feel.