Bus Ride (ON-HOLD)

Thirteen: Confirmed

"Why don't you try making more friends?" I ask curiously. Having one close friend is really ridiculous for me.

"I don't really like to open up to people." She explains. "But for you, it's different."

My breathing hitches and I lick my dry lips. "That's...good." I let out a nervous chuckle.

"Ellie." she calls out.

"Hmm?" I hum without looking at her. I can't look at her right now. I don't want her to say that she wants to be friend with me and that's all.

"Ellie, look at me." She says sternly.

I turn my face to the side slowly and look at her with my mind flooding with millions of questions.

"There's something I want you to know." She says.

What? Does she want to say that she knows I like her and she just wants us to be friends because this kind of relationship isn't allowed?

"G-go on." I say, trying to maintain the eye contact. This is killing me.

"I-"

"That would be $3.50, please." The driver cuts her sentence off.

I sigh in relief and fish out my wallet hastily.

"Come on." I urge her as I open the door on my side. I wait for her to walk over to me and force a smile on my face. "Let's go in now."

"Ellie, I'm not yet done talking." She says as she pulls my arm. She's strong. I can't even move my arm.

"Alright, continue." I say with my heart pounding wildly against my chest, making my breathing hard.

We are standing in front of the entrance and people are walking in and out, some are looking at us.

"Let's go to the side." She pulls me. I stumble a little but manage to steady myself. "There's something I wanna tell you. I don't know when the appropriate time is because we have just met, but I feel like this is it." I furrow my eyebrows.

"From the moment I saw you, everything changed." She breathes out nervously. "I'm not sure if you'll return my feeling, but...there's something that tells me you will."

I think I understand where she is heading to. No, I don't want her to say it. Please.

"No. Please don't say it." I shut my eyes. I try to calm my nervous mind down and gradually open my eyes. "You don't have to say it."

She remains quiet as she watches me doing whatever thing to calm myself down."

The bead of sweat trickles down my forehead and she takes out a piiece of tissue paper to wipe it off. "I know you know what I meant, Ellie. Let's not run away from it."

I look into her eyes to search for an answer. Her gaze shows me care. Her action shows me love. What is it that is holding me from saying the thing she wants to hear?

"I know it is too fast, but you can't control your feeling." She continues and lowers her hand after she finished wiping away my sweat.

"I don't know, Monique." I swallow the lump down my dry throat.

"You don't have to know. Just follow your heart. I'll give you time. Believe me." She throws me a smile and walks over to the dustbin to throw the tissue paper.

I stare at her back with my query eyes. Will she be able to stand those weird stares from people in the future if I tell her my answer? Will our parents accept it? Do we have to fight for it? I'm not a fighter, I've told you before. This feels like the beginning of a losing battle.