One Shots (Camren)

I Lost It

Lauren almost screamed, wouldn't you if you opened your front door and someone tackled you into a hug, but it took her milliseconds to realize that it was Camila and that her best friend/ love-of-her-life-who-is-having-a-baby-with-her-boyfriend was crying and clinging to her like Lauren was the only thing keeping her standing.

"Hey, what's the matter?" Lauren whispered softly, wrapping her arms tight around Camila when the younger girls knees buckled.

"I lost it."

"What? What did you loose, Camz? I'll buy you a new one." Lauren said, pulling back to look at Camila. Her eyes instantly went to the raw scratches and grazes down Camila's face. "Honey, what happened?"

"I-I..." Camila's stuttered, another sob wracking her body.

"Did someone hurt you?" Lauren pushed, grabbing onto Camila's chin and lifting the younger girls face up to look at her. "You gotta talk to me, Bear. Was it Austin? Did he hit you?"

"N-no. I was h-hit by a car."

"What? Have you gone to the hospital?" Camila just nodded and everything seemed to click in Lauren's mind. Camila wouldn't be this broken if she had just lost her phone or purse. "No. Please tell me it's not... "

Camila nodded, her lip trembling and her chest heaving. "The n-nurse said there wasn't... Oh, God."

Lauren pulled Camila closer to her again, wrapping her arms tightly around Camila's waist as the younger girl gripped onto Lauren shirt, clinging to Lauren like her life depended on it.

"I thought for sure she was still alive. I though I could still feel her heartbeat." Camila sobbed against Lauren's chest.

Lauren wanted to ask when Camila found it she was having a girl but that just seemed insensitive right now. "You should be with Austin."

"No! He doesn't fucking care. He looked relieved! He wasn't tied down anymore, he didn't care, he's gone to play soccer with his friends. But I care, Lauren! She was growing inside me! I could FEEL it and-and..."

"I know, Camila. I know."

"I thought I was set. Boyfriend, baby, but now that's all been taken away. I know that he doesn't love me and, honestly, I don't love him I'm just so pissed off that he doesn't care about something that was half him."

"You're staying here tonight, and until you're strong enough to go and find your own apartment." Lauren insisted, leading Camila over to the sofa and lying down, Camila lying in between her and the back of the sofa. Camila began crying again, her whole body shaking as Lauren rubbing her back and whispered calming things into her ear.

It took over an hour and a half for Camila's sobs to turn into whimpers and another half hour on top of that for those whimpers to turn into sniffs and hiccups.
"How can I be so upset over something I never had?" Camila snapped, clearly frustrated at herself.

"That's not fair. You did have her, for six months."

"What do I do?" Camila whimpered, looking up at Lauren. Lauren should know, Lauren is Camila's best friend, she should be helping but she just didn't know.

"I don't know." Lauren muttered pathetically. "But I'm going to be here fighting with you, alright? I'm going to help you through this, you will get through it."

"I need you."

"And I'm here. I'm not going anywhere, ok, bear? It's been me and you against the world since we were five, that's not going to change now." Lauren mumbled against the top of Camila's head. "When did this happen?"

"Yesterday. Austin didn't even come home last night and I just couldn't pick myself up off the floor."

"Why didn't you call me?" Lauren snapped.

"I just- I couldn't pull myself out of my own head. I should've been more careful, a mothers job is to protect their children and I fucked that up before she was even born."

"This is not your fault!" Lauren argued, looking down at Camila who seemed to have completely cried herself dry. "Have you ate?"

"I'm not hungry."

"No, you're eating. I'm not going to let you do this to yourself." Lauren got off the sofa, walking into the kitchen and began making Camila some toast.

When she walked back into the living room Camila was sitting on the sofa with her legs drawn up to her chest.

"Please eat." Lauren whispered, sitting down next to Camila and rubbing the girls back.

Camila just nodded, taking a couple of bites out of the toast before setting the plate down on the table in front of her.

"That's my girl." Lauren whispered, smoothing Camila's hair down and pressing a kiss against Camila's forehead.

"It was a she." Camila muttered distractedly, staring at the blank tv screen in front of her.

"I thought you didn't want to know?"

"I didn't. But I- I was over twenty four weeks so I still had to give birth." Lauren eyes welled up with tears at the thought of her best friend going through that on her own. "She was so small, only about ten inches. She had little fingerprints and everything."

"Camz..." Lauren breathed out, pulling the girl into a hug. "Jesus, I'm so sorry. I should've been there."

"I didn't want you there. I didn't want anyone there."

"You can't shut yourself away."

"I know. I just didn't want you to see that."

"What about you, Camila? You had to go through it. On your own."

"I don't need a lecture, Lauren."

"No, I know. I'm sorry. It just hurts that you went through, are going through, all this pain and I can't do anything except hug you."

"That's more than enough."

"Lets go to bed. You need to at least try and sleep." Lauren said, lifting Camila off the sofa and leading her into the room and over to the bed.

"Thank you. For not just kicking me out." Camila whispered as she lied down on the bed next to Lauren, resting her head against the older girls chest.

"I would never do that. I love you." Lauren replied, kissing Camila's forehead and ran her hand up and down Camila's back.

Camila looked up at Lauren. "I love you."

Lauren gave Camila a half smile, running her fingertips up an down Camila's arm.

Camila stared up at Lauren for about half a minute before leaning up and pressing a kiss to Lauren's lips. She pulled back to gauge Lauren's reaction, leaning back in when Lauren just looked at her, her mouth hanging open slightly.

Lauren kissed Camila back, her hand coming up to rest on the girls cheek but after about ten seconds she realized what was happening and pulled back. "No,"

"I'm sorry."

"No, don't be. I've wanted you to do that since we were teenagers but not under these circumstances, not while you're hurting."

"But I LOVE you."

"Ok, and I love you, too but I can't be that person who you use for comfort. If you still want this in a coupe of weeks then yes but not while you're hurting. I will still be here for you but like a best friend."

Camila nodded, resting her ear back against Lauren's chest. "Just don't leave me."

"Never." Lauren agreed, wrapping Camila up in a hug.

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A/N

Thank you guys SO MUCH for the reading and the votes! I'll post some more today.