Hiding My Heart - One Direction Fan Fiction

Chapter 33-Honest, Sweet & Gentle

"Are we still going out tonight?!" Harry asked us all, seeming to be secretly praying that we still were.

Some of us shrugged, looking around at each other for approval.

"It's up to you babe, it's your birthday!" I said to him rubbing his shoulders.

"Well if you keep rubbing my shoulders like that, then I say that you and I just stay behind and let the others go out." He said turning his neck to look back at me with a mischievous grin. I winked at him as he turned back around to let me continue rubbing his toned shoulders while he sat down.

A few chuckles and disapproving sounds of our 'PDA' came from the people around us as we joked back and fourth.

"But yes, if you still want to go out, I don't see a problem with it, anyone else? There isn't really anything else we would do." Louis said, making a point.

Everyone agreed, and it was official we were just going out and having fun tonight to celebrate Harry's birthday, with out any worries.

"So how about we get some presents passed around?!" Louis said looking around at each of us while we all stood or sat around in the kitchen.

"Yeah sounds like a good idea. We're about to put this in the pan, then whoever wants it cant lick the bowl!" Liam said as he was finishing with making the cake batter.

We all looked at Eleanor with grins as she seemed nervous.

"El, you need to learn to not be a health freak and just live a little!!" Niall said as he walked over to Eleanor with the bowl he grabbed from Liam.

"But the batter is Harry's favorite part! He should have it!" Eleanor said, more than willingly giving up the batter.

"Oh its okay! We're making another cake to layer it since it would be to thin if we just had this one." Liam said as he was putting the pan in the oven.

"Yeah, so don't worry about me El, I'll get my fair share of batter." Harry said to Eleanor to try to convince her more.

"Well... Okay. I guess I'll try a little bit of it." She said taking the bowl and spoon from Niall's hands.

We all sat up from our tired, slouching postures to make sure we don't miss one second of her reaction.

"This is amazing." Was all she could simply say with her mouth full of batter.

We all laughed and made clear of how right we were that it was easily the best stuff on earth.

"I can't believe I've missed out on this so long! All of my birthdays, bake drives, other peoples birthdays... I bake all the time! I can't believe this..." Eleanor said shaking her head at her poor decision's she had made earlier in time, as she was now close to licking the bowl clean.

Bright bags and boxes were being passed left and right to Harry, all of them being from us and some other people that wouldn't be able to see Harry this year for his birthday, due to the tour.

Maybe that's what Harry is sad about. He wont be able to see most of the people he would want to celebrate his 19th birthday with. I mean if I were in his position, I would be upset too.

That's one of the things that bugs me the most about our relationship though, I feel like I can never help him most of the time he needs it or if he's upset because I have no idea what he is going through. I never really have had to experience what he goes through everyday.

Harry knows that I think this way, it makes him and I both upset. Then he has second thoughts about his career, he gets all mad, he apologizes to me for yelling and ever acting that way around me and well yeah, you get the point.

But the sad thing is, this has been happening a lot lately...

He tells me he doesn't know how much longer he would be able to put up with it.. All the late nights of tossing and turning, endless thoughts of what he should do, how will he sneak around to go to this place, or how will he be able to see his family and friends more often...

On the Brightside, like Zayn said, at least Harry will have a few days off to relax and see his family.

While I was stuck in La-La land, thinking about all of Harry's latest problems, the presents were finished, all he had to do was receive mine.

"Don't you have a present for Harry, love?" Louis said softly while leaning over to get my attention. Niall, Louis, and Eleanor were the only ones who knew about the song. And I was going to play it for him for a present.

"Oh right yes of course. Follow me babe?" I said to Harry while standing up and reaching out my hand to grab for his.

Harry at first looked up at me confused, but grabbed my hand anyways with a smile.

On the way out of the bus, I grabbed the guitar that was purposely sat by the door for my plan for Harry.

I walked him across the parking lot and to the nearby pond.

Of course the cliché scene was before us as we sat down on the park bench next to each other.

I looked up after tucking my hair behind my ear and saw a glow in his eyes.

"Are you going to play for me?" He said sounding excited, his voice going higher on each word.

I smiled and nodded while my fingers were playing around with some of the strings before I actually started to play the song that I wrote, and Niall helped me with.

"Babe...?" I said to Harry quietly.

"What's on your mind?" He said to me, noticing something was a bit off.

"How do you make yourself not nervous for a show...? Ya know... before you sing in front of like a billion people?!" I said to him, starting to become a tad nervous.

He laughed and put his hand over mine that was sitting on the guitar.

"I haven't sang in front of that many people before, so I wouldn't be able to tell you what that feels like. But I do get a tad nervous. You never know how the crowd is going to be, ya know? What if there is that one, bitchy person, that hates you out of the group but loves the rest of the guys... What if they just start yelling, throwing stuff at you, or are just saying really rude things...?" He asked me seriously, seeming like he was thinking back to previous moments where something like that has happened.

I sat there silent, waiting for him to continue, because it was one of those moments that even if the whole speech was just a big theoretical question... You don't answer it.

"You have to teach yourself to ignore it because that one person, or that group of people that sit at home with hate accounts, don't know the first thing about the real you. They only know your stage/celeb life. Now, for me on the other hand, even if you were a miserable singer, which I know there is no way in hell you could be...." Harry made me laugh with his humor to his 'Even if' scenario. But while he made a pause to make sure to catch all of my attention, he rubbed his thumb softly over my hand.

"...I would never be one of those jerks to you. Whether it was your singing, drawing, cooking, clothes, personality... Whether if it was anything at all that someone might judge you about, I want you to know that it would never make me stop loving that part about you. Got it babe?" He said to me, almost seeming to tear up while he looked at me in my eyes.

"Got it." I choked out after seeing the very touchy side of Harry. But I'm not complaining. That's one of my favorite things about him - his emotional side. Because let me tell you, once that boy sits you down for a 'talk' or 'heart to heart'... He will tell you everything and anything you need to hear. He's honest, but sweet and gentle.

And right now, he is the only thing I need.

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Okay this was mushy gushy

but I know some of y'all love that.

I'm gonna get some sleep, I'll try to upload more tomorrow morning.