Memories (Mature)

Part 6: Little runaway

What a beautiful day, the sun was out and Lindsey had some time to himself. He just swam a good fifty laps and began to lay out on the back porch, headphones on as he closed his eyes and cleared his head. It was only then that he felt a breeze, the presence of someone else, and something being placed on to his chest. He opened his eyes, took off his headphones, and saw Stevie standing there with a look of mistrust; she'd also been crying and extremely flushed.

"Hey, sweetie. What's this?" grabbing what he then saw to be the sonogram of their lost child.

"You told me I had no children! That we had NO children! What is this ?" sobbing in to her hand. "It says, Goodbye baby. WHAT does that mean, Lindsey?!"

His heart was beating at a mile a minute, forgetting that sonogram had still existed. He never knew what she had really done with it, as when they conceived this child, it was sixteen years ago. Stevie had miscarried around 1999, an awful memory for the two of them, hoping to welcome this child with open arms, but Stevie being at an age where a woman could easily have complications...their worst nightmare had come true, they lost, Emily.

"What is this, Lindsey?! WHAT IS THIS?!" feeling a sharp pain in her abdomen as she had to sit, steadying herself on the umbrella table.

"Steph," Lindsey turned to face her, tears now streaming from his face, "Baby, I couldn't tell you about this...I didn't want to face this again, it's too painful."

"So you just decided to let me find out on my OWN?! What kind of man are you?" rocking back and forth as she cried, holding herself.

"Dammit," he whispered under his breath, standing up as he kneeled down in front of her, trying to keep her still. "Stevie, I'm sorry that you found out this way. I swear to you, I SWEAR that I would never intentionally hurt you," taking her face to make her look at him. "Sixteen years ago, around the time I had William, we conceived a baby girl. We had named her, Emily, and there were too many complications and you lost her...It was one of the worst - if not the worst moment of my life to see you standing there, blood leaking down your legs as you screamed in agony. I wanted to marry you," smoothing back her hair, "...but even though we had that baby coming, the fights and the anger that we both caused, it was stress that stopped that pregnancy from going any further. You were so sick with me for getting not only a younger woman pregnant but you as well, thinking that there was no way that we could make it, and we lost the baby."

"Emily," Stevie's voice cracked as she then began to sob again, hands shaking as she covered her face.

"Yes, baby," Lindsey sat next to her, holding her as she finally wrapped her arms around him. "Our little princess, Emily. I'm so sorry, angel," whispering in to her hair.

"I found it with all those love letters, placed right in the middle of the stack, I about lost consciousness."

"There would have eventually been a time that I would tell you but I just couldn't. We never talked about her and the pain is too great, that memory is not something that I would want you to even begin to remember..."

"But I asked if I had children and you denied the question, that hurts just as much," silently hiccupping.

He stroked her face as he felt her tears on his palm, "I did it out of love, Steph, wanting to protect you."

She sat quietly against him, still randomly hiccupping as she tried to calm down. He now couldn't get the image out of his mind, the shrill scream that came from the bathroom, the way her legs wobbled - gripping on to her stomach in agony. Lindsey could never forget the way everything went down, her closing herself off from him for months until they eventually worked on, Say you will. The love that he kept in his heart for her and that baby was the strongest kind, the kind only a father could understand.