Memories (Mature)

Part 18: Room to breathe

All she could do was grin and bear it. Everything that he would do would get on her nerves. From the way he'd chew his food to the way he'd even sleep. Stevie was just too used to being a single woman and as much as she loved him, as much as the sex they had was still better than she could imagine...she couldn't deny that there was something emotionally wrong with her. Years and years she claimed that she was a strong independent woman that needed no man but secretly, deep down, she was afraid of change. Why would she do this to herself every time she got close to marriage?

Lindsey worshipped her, always has, even when she was biting his head off and telling him to go to hell - he still wanted what was best for her. He just never thought she'd ever leave him the many times that she had and now that he proved his love, why was this so uncomfortable for her? This man loved her more than any other man she's ever been with. He's written her songs, he's cooked for her, drawn her baths, shown her what love really was, and now she had the chance to marry him again but questioned her every move?

Lindsey could sense that she was on edge, fearing that at any second she would just explode! He, on the other hand, thought he was doing things just perfectly. If she was in the mood for eating something other than what he suggested, he would take her request over his own. If she wanted a day to herself, he would leave her free range of the condo. Whatever Stevie wanted, she got, and no matter how hard he tried - it just seemed as if she was getting worse! Her conversations didn't last long, she wouldn't greet him in the morning, and she definitely wouldn't initiate sex. Lindsey was fearing for the worst and eventually he began to sleep out on the couch, her wanting as much space as possible. Though she hadn't given him an answer on the engagement, somehow he knew that she would flee.

***
Being lost in his stare as he listened to the rain hitting the windows, he saw Stevie appear out of the corner of his eye.

"I'm going -"

"Don't leave me, please," he interrupted her almost instantly after she spoke.

"Lindsey, I'm going to get my hair done...I'm not going anywhere, I'll be back in a few hours, Karen is waiting for me downstairs," grabbing her purse from the kitchen table.

"Stevie," Lindsey stood but lost all concentration, just looking at how beautiful she was to him and how he couldn't live with out her.

"Yes?" holding her hand out to him as she opened the door.

"I could have taken you. You know that I had nothing to do today. Would you like me to walk you out? I can get the umbrella?" doing whatever he could to prove he was worthy.

"No, that's perfectly fine. I'll be alright," walking through the door. "See you later," then closing it behind her.

Stevie stood in front of the door for what felt like hours, clutching her purse and just remembering how much fear overwhelmed him by her just mentioning an appointment she was heading to. He really did love her, cared for her. Why was it so wrong that he cherished her? Did she not feel worthy enough?

After a few moments, Stevie headed to the elevator and down to the first floor, heading out of the building to meet Karen.

"Well, what's eating you?" asked Karen, greeting her with an umbrella as she escorted her to her car.

"Nothing," Stevie lied, sitting down inside the car as Karen then rolled her eyes. She knew when her boss was focused on something.

"So, how are things with Lindsey?" Karen prodded as she began to start the car and head out of the parking lot to the busy street.

"Fine, I guess..." not sure how to answer that, as most of the problems were her own inner demons playing it out.

"Well, you're facial expression doesn't look fine to me," critiquing.