Faking It (OHSHC)

I Hate This Reality

       "How long have I been here?" I asked the host club in front of me. After I woke up, Hikaru called the host club telling them that I woke up.

       "It's been about a month and a half since we found you." Mori answered, considering that the rest of the club had trouble keeping their eyes from watering.

       "How did I get here?" My voice was scratchy and dry. I sounded like I had coughed my throat raw.

      "We found you. All of us, and Akira."

      "So? Why am I here?"

      "You were dying Ash!-Aspen, we found you covered in your blood on your bed. your wrists were slit. You were barely breathing!" Hani yelled at me, Tears started streaming down his face, but I couldn't help but feel nothing. That simple emotion, you'd think I would feel guilt, yet I can't seem to feel a thing.

      "Like I said. Why am I here. I obviously wanted to die. So why didn't you let me?" My voice, as rough as it sounded, was still calm.

      "Aspen. Are you serious? Why wouldn't we save you. We love you! We care for you! We are your friends!" Tamaki burst out at me. The others just nodding in approval.

      "Psychopath." I said looking straight at Tamaki.

      "Huh?" Tamaki was obviously confused.

      "That's what you called me. So why are you here?" I hadn't really cared that he called me that. I heard it enough from those people. I could see the guilt cover his face at my words. Speaking of which all of them have been staring at me with pity this whole time. At that time, the doctor walked into my room. "When can I go?" I asked the doctor. She was the one who was here when I woke up.

      "You should be released in the next few days. You will need to stay in a wheelchair for a while though, and we have to release you to your parents, so we can talk to them about treatment. In fact, we called them and they are on their way now."

      "Ah." Was the only thing that came out of my mouth.

      "We're coming with you. We are taking all your razors, and tools and throwing them away." I didn't reply to Haruhi as she said that. No one did, We just sat in silence, though the silence didn't last long. It was then that they walked into my room.

      "Ah, Hello Father. Mother." My words were returned with a slap across the cheek. In the many things they had done to me. Slapping wasn't one of them, and I was shocked that they would do it in front of all these people.

      "How dare you." My mother's cold and stern voice traveled through the painfully quiet room.

     "Ah yes. Mother so nice to see you again. Father how are you?" I smiled at them, I knew they hated my smile. They always did.

     "I can't believe you. You embarrass us by pulling a stunt like this? What were you thinking? If you wanted to die so much do it effectively. It's embarrassing to have a daughter like you. Pack your things, being in such a place disgusts me." My mother said then walked out of the room.

     My father just watched and waited for me to follow orders. I removed all the wires on my body and tried to get out of bed. Though, it wasn't as effective; when I tried to stand up, my legs gave out from under me. As I fell, I watched the disgust on my father's face as he left my room. The host club quickly rushed to my side, and picked me up.

     They were surely shocked to find out those were my parents. The twins called for the doctor and Hani and Mori helped me back into my bed. I chuckled slightly, why was I laughing? The slight chuckle turned to full on laughter. Tears fell from my cheeks as I lost every ounce of energy left in me.

     This was the first time I'd cried since his death, and all the emotions in me finally spilled over. Even if I died they wouldn't care. I had known that for a while, but them actually telling me to my face is something different. I yanked my arm out of Hani and Mori's hold, falling to the ground. Why had I still held onto the little hope of them actually caring? Why hadn't I just gone to Ash? Why did the host club save me when I wanted to die? Why wasn't it like every book I've ever read? I try to kill myself, I see my loved one tell me to live, and my parents actually love me.

I hate this reality.