Chapter 1

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When i wake up, everything in the room feels cold, i feel alone, empty, useless... i am at my house, in District 12, but there is no one with me, not even my mom. i miss her, i miss Gale, but mostly, i miss my little duck, my little sister who is dead... who is dead... who is DEAD... I cry and scream and kick the bed, i can't stop blaming myself for every death, i can't stop blaming myself that today, Annie's child does not have a father, i can't stop blaming myself that right now, Peeta is not here, and he is not even the real Peeta. i miss him, i miss his arms around me, i miss how he was comforting me, how he loved me, how... i can't, i really can't... sobs are coming from my throat and i can't stop crying... i am preparing for one more sleepless night...

In the morning, i feel like i want to be dead, i feel like that almost every day, but today is different, i really, REALLY want to be dead, my life lost it's sense after all of this.

Someone is knocking on the door and i find Greasy Sae coming in with her granddaughter for making my breakfast. Only people i meet here, are Greasy with her granddaughter and Haymitch, but he is always drunk.

I am sitting on the sofa in the living room, thinking about the nights in the train, about his eyelashes, his warm scent, his caring actions, his love... i don't even know why i think about it, i don't even know if i love him or not, but i know exactly that i care about him, i need him, i want to know how is he, where is he, what does he, does he still hate me? "stop thinking about him, Katniss!" i tell to myself and get up to go hunting in the woods, but as soon as i open the front door, i immediately freeze Oh My God! He is standing in front of my door, his hand up, ready to knock. i feel every single nerve in my body tensing, i feel like there is the whole animal kingdom in my stomach, not just butterflies... I look at his blue soft eyes and see the old Peeta, the one i missed so much. Half of me wants to hug him, but the other half is afraid he won't respond to my hug, and it will break my soul into million pieces, but i take a risk and hug him tightly, feeling him again... He hugs me back, holds me tightly, buries his head into my hair and i feel his breath on my neck... "You are back" i whisper.
"I will never leave you again" he mumbles and tightens his arms around me.


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