So it was settled with Harry, I wasn't going to prom with Niall. I had tried to convince Harry to change his mind but he wouldn't budge. I just didn't know how I was going to break the news to Niall. He couldn't know about Harry and I wished he could. He knew about Harry and I before but I really don't think he would understand the situation now. I really felt bad that I couldn't go to prom with Niall, it was something I wanted and something I wanted to do for him. I hated that I was being weak to Harry and obeying his wishes when I shouldn't.
Today my older brother, Trevor and I were going to finally hang out after weeks of him putting it off. Trevor had always kind of been the lone wolf of our family, especially after our dad passed. He was always off doing his own thing with friends or working on his artwork away from the bigger crowds. I admired that he was so comfortable being alone and I wish I could be like that. He had been gone a lot since he got into art school and really only came home if he needed. It surprised me that he wanted to come home just to hang out with me and see how I was doing. It made me think he was worried about me or knew something.
"Daisy", he said sitting on the couch, he seemed like he wanted to ask me a serious question but he didn't," How are you? You seemed pretty upset the other day."
The other day that he came over was the day that I lost my virginity to Harry. It was awkward that that was right when he showed up and I would prefer to forget that happened. I'm sure that Trevor wouldn't even think of it like that though. Anyone who really thought about it could figure it out but I knew he would trust my word and wouldn't go any deeper.
"I'm doing okay. I've been better but I've also been worse", I said and he nodded.
"That's good. How's school?"
"I'm just ready for this year to be over", I said rolling my eyes, which I felt like was a typical reaction.
"Me too. This summer is going to be the best", he said and I nodded.
"Why are you asking me all these random questions? You usually don't care?"
"I guess I'll just get to the point instead of using all this small talk.I have a serious question to ask you?", he said and my heart started to beat faster. I had nothing really to worry about when it can to him because he didn't really know that much about my daily life. I knew that Trevor and Harry used to know each other and that was something that worried me. He could still talk to Harry and find out about him and I somehow.
"Okay."
"Are you with Harry Styles?"
"What do you mean with Harry? You mean Mr. Styles?", I had been busted. There was no going around this which sucked but i had to answer the question. I had to at least act like I was clueless about it and maybe he just wouldn't go any deeper.
"Harry can be a really great person sometimes, kind of a prick but he has a good heart. I just wanted to know because he was talking to you about some of our mutual friends and I saw his car here when I came over the other day and I figured he was here. I just wanted to know if he was talking about my baby sister Daisy or some other Daisy that's 16 and in high school?", he said.
I wondered what Harry was saying about me to his friends. Was it things i wanted people to know? Were they good things? If they were sexual things my older brother knew about them so that made me feel uncomfortable. If they were good things that could be why my brother was so chill about this? If they were bad things why wouldn't he defend me when Harry was saying them? hes my older brother after all and I figure that my older brother would try to protect my image if he could.
"I guess we are kind of together, I don't really know", I told him and rolled my eyes. I knew that were were together but after the fight I had about prom I was rethinking if I really wanted something serious with someone as controlling as him.
"Oh well that's cool", he said looking around the room which made me think he was nervous or uncomfortable in the situation.
"What kind of things does he say about me?", I asked. A piece of me wanted it be a mystery so that I wasn't mad at Harry for being a dick but if he was saying bad things about me I wanted to know so I could confront him on it. This might hurt but I knew it was the right thing to do.
"Well, the last time we all hung out he just said really good things about you and how you weren't as easy as he expected, which I guess is a good thing. The group wanted him to move on from you because you're a high school girl but he said there is more to it than you just being in high school", he said and I felt a weight lift of my shoulders but I was still worried. There could have been other times where he said other things about me.
I didn't know if he was using me as his little virgin high school girl to conquer or if he actually liked me. We had already had sex a few times so I didn't think he was just going to leave me now but what if that was how he did it? He could just have sex with me a few times, get all the fun out of it, then leave. That didn't seem like harry but i was worried now that, that was what he was going to do. If I was someone he was serious about why would he talk about me with his friends.
"What else? Did he say anything that is actually worth me knowing?"
"Not really, when I was there it was all positive things."
"Well that's good then, I have nothing to worry about", I said and smiled ready to move on from this. I liked harry and I didn't want to over think it.
"No, Daisy. i want to give you some advice about Harry. It seems like all fun and games with him and I'm sure you really like him but who knows if he really likes you. I have known him all throughout my school career and he has always been like this. He has always gone after girls and just because he seems serious about you doesn't mean he isn't having sex with someone else right now. I know you're gonna do what you want but I just want you to be safe and-"
"We are safe, no worries there", I interrupted, really not wanting to deal with the lecture he was going to give me.
"No, he is an older guy and old guys can easily take advantage of younger girls and I want you to remember that. He may be a nice guy and he may seem like he is really good for you. And I like Harry don't get me wrong but I don't approve of such an older man, an adult using my under aged sister for whatever he needs right now. He may seem like someone you love but the reality is he is an old perv and he could easily be manipulating you. He knows that he is older and has power of you. If you are going to be with him just be on your toes and don't let him control you because I know you are better than that."
"Okay."
I was slightly annoyed that my older brother was trying to lecture me on Harry. He was trying to teach me a lesson and it wasn't really something I wanted from him. I appreciated it but I also felt like he had no reason to be so invested and so worried about what Harry and I were doing. I wanted to make the mistakes I wanted to make with Harry all on my own. My brother had always been distant from me and it felt odd that out of nowhere he wanted to give me advice and lecture me on things. It felt like it was just an attempt for him to get closer to me and feel better about his relationship with me.
In one moment though, it all seemed to hit me. It hit me hard that Harry was trying his best to manipulate me and control me in aspects that weren't his too control. For him to not let me out and do the things that I wanted to do with Niall or feel like a normal teenager infuriated me. I was feeling daring out of nowhere, like it didn't matter if Harry was going to get mad at me or not. I just had to text Niall.
Daisy: Niall, I want to go to prom with you.
You need me, I don't need you// Ed Sheeran
