To Love Again | Sequel to Saranghae

Chapter 14

To Love Again | Sequel to Saranghae
Chapter 14
Meeting a friend

I left early. I avoided the talk with Dae, I avoided the questions from Leo, I avoided my chaotic life. I got on a plane and that was it.

I casted my eyes out the window and scribbled down messes of lyrics.

"It all seems like a memory
A fleeting moment
All passing in the wind." I whispered. I skipped a line. It doesn't sound right. I can't bring that for the J&D album. It sounds too much like a ballad. But that's all that comes to mind.

"Baby, am I the reason
For that frown on your face?
For the tears sliding down your face. "

"I need you around
Its the only way I function
But you don't need me." I continued with the thought. It will make a good song for someone.

I paused and brought my eyes to the window. I leant on my elbow. I thought about Leo. I love him, I know I do. Sehun... I can't. I hurt him once, its in the past.

Its like what Dae said, I should leave the past in the past. I have to leave him in the past.

"I hurt you,
And its a light in my memories. " I whispered.
"I hurt you, and you don't need me
Or the pain I bring. I'm sorry."

How am I ever going to get over you? You keep storming into my life. I can't take so much.

"I stepped up with you,
And I broke you.
You don't need me. "

"My heart is bleeding
But yours is worse.
I caused it, baby, I'm a light sticking your memories.
You don't need me. "

I whispered the lyrics again and again. I'm doing this for all of us. My heart hurts too much around Sehun, thinking about Sehun. I don't want to hurt him anymore.

I'm not going to hurt Leo anymore. He doesn't deserve it. When I was with Sehun, he must have been suffering. I'm doing the best. I'm letting go. I'm letting go of you, Sehun.

I turned my head down.

"I sprayed my love and hate came out instead.
It hurt you, and I'm sorry." I whispered. I tapped the pen against the paper.

"You really don't need me. " I whispered to myself. I dropped the pen to the paper. Tears broke in my eyes. I broke your heart and I can't put it back together. He doesn't need me, and he shouldn't want me. He doesn't need me.

I wiped the tears from my eyes. I placed my hand on the window ledge.

I picked my phone up. I opened the messenger and texted one thing.

I love you.

I didn't even have to put down the phone, the answer was immediate.

Leo: I love you too, call me when you land.

I smiled to myself. I'll be fine now. Everything will be fine.

Thats what I said to myself every day while on promotions. Leo asked about what happened with Sehun eventually. I told him, I wasn't interested in Sehun anymore and that he shouldn't worry about something like that. He shouldn't. I told him I loved him and missed him every night. I meant it.

I stood on stage and sang. It was small concert halls, but I was happy. Some nights it was huge, with massive crowds, other nights it was more comfortable like this.

"If I bottled up my tears, you would think they were raindrops instead. " I sang. I placed my hand to my chest as I paused at the piano.

"I may seem okay, play it okay, but have you ever even looked at me?" My voice hit the high note. "I guess I'm not worth that much to you. And it hurts me. "

I smiled and overlooked the crowd when it was over. I signed a few albums. A couple of girls cried and hugged me. They told me about their life.

I always liked that about my fans. I don't know what it was, but most times at fansigns or after concerts they told me how much I helped them. Some said it was because of the strength I had through JinHai's incident in how I never dissappointed the fans and still made myself into something when leaving the biggest company. They said it was a smack right into SM's face. Some of them told me they were fans since JinHai and when I left, they were torn. They had a foot in JinHai and a foot in J&D music.

I usually cried with them. They weren't fans to me, when they told me their troubles, they felt like little siblings. People I had to protect.

I was packing up, I rubbed my eyes. "Can you sign one more copy?" I heard a male voice. I nodded and wiped my eyes. A girl had told me about her little brother being sick. He was a fan of mine. The staff almost had to take me away, I was crying too hard. The girl told me, he really wanted to come, but he was bedridden. I took the girl's email.

I planned to visit her brother.

The album slid in front of me. "Who do I make this out to?" I asked.

"Luhan. "