Writing Letters » Horan

Sometimes It's Hard

Writing Letters

Chapter 26: Sometimes It's Hard

Niall

It was an entire 3 days until tour officially kicked off and despite the fact we had already toured all around the UK, I was nervous. Would Americans like us or would they hate us because we're a boy band? Honestly I couldn't decide between the two but I was leaning towards the latter because of how hostile I've heard Americans are. Maybe I'm over thinking everything again because I'm stressed out that I won't be going home until July. 

The boys and I were all gathered in a room with Big Time Rush, learning to get along because we would be touring with them for a month or two. Over all they seemed nice, Logan surprisingly seemed a bit cocky along with Kendall but I suppose that's because they're used to being put on a pedestal. James and Carlos on the other hand, well, they appeared to only want to have fun and be chill with us so I had to respect them for that.

"So do you guys want to head to the pool?" Louis offered up randomly. I kept my eyes on the ground but shook my head at his need to always do something entertaining. Louis was never one for sitting around and talking unless he was doing something fun.

"Yeah why not," Logan shrugged. Everyone began to get up, mumbling words and then leaving to go get changed and gather their things together. I simply stumbled out after everyone, following Liam back to our room and picking my things out in slow motion until he left on his own.

With the door clicking shut behind him I collapsed back onto my bed and stared ahead at the ceiling with a frown. I hated knowing that I was in America, a couple of states away from Amelia, and being completely unable to contact her. For some reason I refused to write any new letters to her in hopes that she had given up on me so I could get over her. It was a selfish move on my part but I couldn't help it. My life has already begun to get busy to the point I barely have time to call my own mum!

My eyes slid closed and I took a deep breath, allowing myself to relax and let the tension and nerves seep out of me. I pursed my lips and ran my hands up over my face and through my hair in exhaustion. All of my thoughts had been taking a big toll on me recently, most revolving around Amelia herself. She's pretty much all I can think about since the phone call with Justine, which by the way had me realize just how important Amelia was to me. 

As my own thoughts powered on further memories of Amelia I unconsciously got up, shuffling over to my book bag and gripping it in my fingers tightly. With a quick pull I had it tugged from between my suitcases and flying onto my bed. There was not a second wasted as I unzipped my bag and dug out the collection of letters held together by a blue rubber band. 

Once again I sat myself back on my bed, pushing my book bag onto the floor and slipping the top letter from the stack with ease. My movements were all hastened as I rushed to get her words into my head once again. This was a daily occurrence, re-reading all of the letters that Amelia had sent me in order to feel like she was still here for me, with me. I know it was ridiculous and dumb but somehow her words kept their same calming effect from the X-Factor. 

A certain line had me giving off a small smile at how sweet she was, despite the fact it partially involved her boyfriend.

"My mind was lingering on you, wondering about what you were doing and what you were thinking. Were you thinking about me just like I was to you or had I escaped your mind for a while as you took the high road to fame?"

Although she was calling me out for acting as if my fame overpowered her presence in my life, a single bit of a sentence had me blushing. It was sincere and perfectly written in her words, almost so clear she mine as well have been saying it right to my face. Then again I have an over tendency to think way too hard about things then take it the wrong way. Shoot me for having real thoughts and emotions.