Unmotivated in the most famous Magic Academy

Uncertainty

"If it isn't my little disciple, I'm glad you came," this guy said. I'm supposed to be his disciple?

"If it isn't my little master, I'm glad you're here," I said, obviously sarcastic; he laughed.

"That's the spirit!", he said, then, huh, he is right in front of me, stabbing me with a wooden sword, urgh-. The sword is wooden but it still hurts alot, this guy. Now he looks confused at me????

"Why did you not block?", he asked? Is he kidding? How was I supposed to block that? I could barely process what happened, how am I supposed to counter that? He laughed once again.

"If this was a real sword, you would've been dead. You're probably thinking, how was I supposed to block that, I could barely see what happened. That's because you're still weak, get up. I will do this with you 30 minutes everyday from now on. In 3 months I will use a real sword," he said???? ? ? ? ?? ? ???? ?? ?? ? It wasn't sarcastic. It was serious-

Wait, why am I so scared, I wanted to die anyway didn't I? Agh- he started again, it feels like he's going even faster this time.........

And here I am laying on the ground, completely exhausted. This guy really stabbed me for 30 minutes. And this for 3 months now? 

"Until tomorrow," he said with a smile on his face; unbelievable this guy.... 

Anyways, I feel weird now. Through these last days I had a rollercoaster of feelings, the only reason I wanted to die, was due to my ignorance. At the same time, I do feel like, I want to die. It's really weird, I- I don't know what I want.

"Hisashi, you're quite late aren't you? Today you're supposed to cook," Momoka said in rage, when I came back home. I was lost in uncertainty for a while, so I just lied there, thinking about myself, but I didn't came even a step closer to myself, I just don't understand myself anymore, but what she said is true indeed, I have to cook, fast...

"Yes your highness," I said, jokingly, as she slapt me in the face. I thought I could just cook, take my portion and retreat into my room, but- oh, wow, no one stopped me. Thank god. 

After eating, I read a bit about dragons, an ancient race, which was extinguished in the great magical war. An entire race was wiped out in the span of a month, I suppose, that's the fate of those, who get in the way of the humans. A tragic end, plotted, so we look like heroes. To be fair, in the story it says, that the dragons were even mightier than the humans, yet they were independent and decided, to sacrifice themselves to safe this world. Couldn't be more obvious, hah. Time to sleep...

"Hisashi, if there is anything on your heart, I would be more than willing to listen to it, afterall, we're friends," Isamu said quietly, when we both were lying in bed. Friends? Did he just call us friends? His words felt sincere, but I can't believe it. Why would anyone be friends with me? I'm just trash, a lowly human being. A prey, getting hunted down in this world each and every day.

Human's don't just wipe out the ones, that get in their way, they also discard, what is unecessary. I don't have a place in this world.

"It's nothing," I said and he didn't respond. Probably for the better.

I tried to save the story! Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed, also sorry for it being so depressive atm, but that's just the character.