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ᴺᴼᵂ ᴾᴸᴬᵞᴵᴺᴳ :
The Archer - Taylor Swift
2:06 ───ㅇ───── 3:31
↠ⁿᵉˣᵗ ˢᵒⁿᵍ ↺ ʳᵉᵖᵉᵃᵗ ⊜ ᵖᵃᵘˢᵉ
ᴺᴼᵂ ᴾᴸᴬᵞᴵᴺᴳ :
I miss you, I'm sorry - Gracie Abrams
1:13 ───ㅇ───── 2:47
↠ⁿᵉˣᵗ ˢᵒⁿᵍ ↺ ʳᵉᵖᵉᵃᵗ ⊜ ᵖᵃᵘˢᵉ
°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。
-ˏˋ ʙʀᴀᴢɪʟɪᴀɴ ɢʀᴀɴᴅ ᴘʀɪx ˊˎ
【 ｍａｙａｒｉ'ｓ ｐｏｖ —】
I had tried to keep a low profile during the practice days and quali. Bumping into Charles the day I arrived in Brazil was just too much. So wearing things that could hide my face and sitting in areas that didn't draw too much attention was my bestfriend during my stay here.
I didn't know for sure if I was mentally ready to face Lando yet. Which was so silly of me because I didn't fly all the way here to not talk to him, I really should be thanking him for the passes at the very least. Those shits are expensive as hell.
Sigh.
But truthfully, to be very real under all of this humor and deflecting, I was just scared. Scared that nothing has changed, scared that I would be hurt again, scared that he didn't love me the same anymore, so many contradictions in my fears that I really needed to let go of and just live. I really thought a few days ago that things were going to be ended forever between us. It was devastating, when I got home back in September, I cried for a week straight.
I actually haven't cried that hard before in a while, the last time I did was when my mom died...
I really do love Lando and I felt an intense heartache when we didn't express those words to each other. But maybe the Universe is giving us both another chance. Do you guys believe in that? Because I do. I believe it with my whole soul. My mom did too. She always believed in it even when she was sick, a sickness that took her too soon.
I have actually been wearing her gold locket that I found a week after being home in her old jewelry box. I noticed this almost divine feeling that whenever I rubbed it between my fingers I could sense my mom's presence guiding me back to my center where I could feel calm and clarity about situations.
