The Secret Life of Emily Blu

Chapter Thirty-Three

I'm barely in the door before Joanne stands in front of me, her arms crossed. I swallow.

"Do you want to tell me where you were last night? Because I know you weren't at Claire's place. Your phone is being tracked, Sarah."

I open my mouth and then close it. I can't imagine coming up with a lie that Joanne will believe, and I don't want to lie to her.

"Jonas tried to rape me, and I put him in the hospital. Jack - Hardy - came and got me, and I had a movie night with him and his little brother." I debate for a moment whether or not I should admit that I'd told Jack the truth, but I don't see how telling her would make anything worse. "He knows everything."

Joanne blinks at me several times, trying to process everything I've just told her. "Do I need to call the police?"

I shake my head. "He's not going to tell anyone. Jack's mom was Jonas's nurse at the hospital, and he isn't saying anything. I'm okay on that front."

Joanne steps forward and wraps me in her arms. "That's not what I'm asking. Do I need to call the cops for you? Do you want to press charges?"

I shake my head and squeeze her tight. "It'll be a 'he says, she says' situation, and I don't want to do that. You know, I don't want to get involved with anything like that right now. I can't."

"I thought Jonas was a nice guy. I'm so sorry I read him wrong."

"We both did," I say, but deep down, I know I'd ignored some major red flags because I liked feeling wanted. As soon as I found out he was dealing drugs, I should have dumped him, but I'd stayed, and now I'm paying the price.

"So, Hardy came and saved you?" Joanne asks, pulling back from our hug.

I nod.

"Do you like him?"

I pause before answering. "I trust him."

"I think that might be even more important," Joanne sighs. "You know I have to tell Agent James that you told Hardy everything? Agent James will want to talk to him about what he can and can't do now."

I wince. "I'll let Jack know to expect a visit. I hadn't thought of that when I told him. Do you think Agent James is going to be mad?"

"I don't think he's going to be happy, but you've been in the p[program for three years, at such a young age no less, and you've never told anyone. Exceptions are meant to be made, and if Hardy is your exception, then that's that."

I nod, feeling slightly better. I take a deep breath and ask the question that's been dying to be let loose since I'd spoken to Kim earlier. "Can you take me to the hospital?"

Joanne freezes. "Oh no. What kind of medical attention do you need? Did you hit your head again?"

"No!" I rush to assure her. "I'm fine, but Jonas is still in the hospital, and I want to see him."

"To what end?"

"To make it clear that if he ever touches me again, I will destroy him."

Joanne chuckles at this. "You don't need to do that. He's in the hospital; I think he gets the message."

I'm shaking my head before she's even finished. "I am not a victim, and I refuse to let anyone else make me feel that way."

Joanne considers me for a moment and then nods. "I'll grab my keys."

We don't talk on the ride over, but we do play my dad's favorite CD. When we pull up, Joanne asks, "Do you want me to go in with you?"

"Yes," I say, grateful she offered. I know I can do it myself, but I'm happy I don't have to.

We walk in together, and Joanne sweet-talks the front desk into telling us where Jonas is. I don't know if she uses her charm alone or flashes her badge, but somehow, we get Jonas's room number.

When we get upstairs, Mae comes out of Jonas's room.

"Emily! Jonas will be so happy to see you! Maybe you can get some information from him; he's refusing to tell me who beat him up, and he refuses to talk to the police, but whoever did it did some serious damage. They don't know if he'll ever be able to have kids." She says the last bit in a whisper, and it takes all my years of acting to muster up an appropriate facial expression.

"I'll wait out here with Mae," Joanne says, giving me an encouraging smile.

I take a deep breath and push open the door. Jonas takes a moment to notice me. He's propped up in bed, the TV remote in his hand.

Not only had my punch broken his nose the night before, but it'd also given him two black eyes. I have to admit I'm a bit proud of myself. Apparently, the training with Joanne and Agent James has been effective.

I step forward, closing the door behind me as I go. The sound alerts him to my presence, and he turns to me with a frown.

I don't know what I expect him to do when he sees me, but he does nothing. It's as if I don't even exist, and for a moment, I wonder if I affected his vision.

"What are you doing here?" he finally asks, his voice flat and emotionless. It makes me shiver; it's far too cold for someone who once cared about me. It almost reminds me of Marcus.

"Just came by to see how you are," I say, taking a step forward.

He eyes me critically. After a moment, he says, "If you're looking for an apology, you aren't going to get one."

"Oh, I'm not," I assure him. "Even if you gave one, I don't think you'd mean it."

He nods in confirmation. "I wouldn't."

"Do you regret it?" I never meant to ask the question, but it rolls off my tongue before I can stop myself.

"I regret that you got the best of me, but that's it."

"Did you ever care for me? Was all the time we spent together just a lie?"

Jonas's gaze is critical as he gives me a once-over. "I think you're hot," he says.

"That's it?"

"That's it."

I have all the answers I need. "Can we agree to never speak about last night to anyone, especially the cops?"

Jonas gives me the first real smile since I entered his room. "That I can agree on."

I nod. "I hope you suffer."

Jonas shrugs and turns back to the TV.

I stand there a moment longer before I turn and leave.

Joanne is still in the hallway with Mae, who is waving her arms about in frustration.

"Are you done, sweetie?" Joanne asks, cutting Mae off.

I nod.

"Then we're off. It was nice to see you, Mae," Joanne says, rushing me off before Mae can say another word.

When we're back in the car, I ask, "What was his mom saying?"

Joanne snorts. "She was going on and on about how she couldn't believe this had happened to her little angel. It took everything in me not to tell her the truth."

"Lovely. On the bright side, we never have to deal with that family again."

"Thank God," Joanne mutters.

"I thought you liked Mae?"

"Oh no, absolutely not. I just put up with her for you."

I stare at Joanne in shock for a moment. "Well, I'm done dating, so there's no longer any need for you to pretend."

"What about Hardy?"

I shrug, turning to look out the window. "Jack is a good person, and I wouldn't put him through me."

Joanne doesn't correct me, and I lean my head against the window in defeat.