The Secret Life of Emily Blu

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Jonas: What happened last night? I don't remember us getting home.

Me: We can discuss it tonight at dinner.

Mae had invited Joanne and I over for dinner tonight after Jonas and I had left for the dance yesterday and Joanne had accepted. I don't know whether this is a cursing or a blessing; part of me wants to talk to Jonas about his actions as soon as possible, but the rest of me is dreading the conversation and wants to put it off for as long as possible.

When we get to the Levy house Jonas stands back a little, watching me. He looks a bit wary and I don't blame him. He really fucked up last night and I'd had to clean up his mess.

"Emily and I are going to go to my room while you finish dinner," Jonas tells his mom.

"Door open," she directs before turning back to Joanne who waves us off.

Jonas' room is in the back of the house, and I follow him there silently, sitting on the edge of his bed with my arms crossed. He sits down next to me, and we both sit in silence for a moment.

Eventually Jonas sighs and rubs a hand over his face. "I think I owe you an apology, Emily."

"You think?" I snap, turning my glare to him. "What the fuck were you thinking? I had to ask Hardy to help me get you home!"

Jonas leans back slightly, his eyebrows raised, clearly surprised. "Hardy?"

"Yes! He had to practically carry you to the car, and then he drove us here and got you inside! Without him we would have been fucked! You really owe him a thank you!"

For one moment Jonas's eyes turn hard and calculating, but as quickly as I recognize the emotion it's gone. I'm not even sure I saw it to begin with. Maybe I imagined it?

When Jonas doesn't say anything else I continue, the frustration and fear I'd felt since last night finally flowing free. "The worst part isn't that you took a tab, it's that you didn't tell me! What the fuck was I supposed to do, Jonas? You know I can't drive!"

He shrugs his shoulders slightly. "Honestly I hadn't thought that far ahead. I thought I'd be fine to drive home which is why I didn't bother mentioning it to you before hand."

"This isn't pot!" I hiss. "Not that you should be driving high on that, either. You could have put both our lives at risk, Jonas! What would your mother have said if you were caught? It's a miracle we got you out of there before one of the teachers noticed you were high as fuck!"

"My mother is far too concerned with other matters to care about me," Jonas hisses.

I pause, staring at him in shock. His voice was ice cold, not at all like the warm boy I'd fallen for. "What are you talking about?"

Jonas pauses for a moment, and I can tell he's trying to decide how much to tell me.

"I'm your girlfriend, you can tell me anything."

"Are you still, though? My girlfriend, I mean."

"I am," I nod. "You made a stupid choice but that's not who you are."

He nods and gives me a sad smile. "I was upset, and I didn't want to bring you down because it was your first dance and I wanted it to be special for you. I thought if I just slipped a tab, I'd be able to enjoy myself and would be more fun for you."

"Why were you so upset?"

Jonas crosses his arms and glares past me. I realize it's not directed at me, but someone else. Probably his mom, considering what he'd said earlier. "It's going to sound stupid."

"I doubt it's going to sound stupid."

He groans and runs his hand through his hair. "You know my dad left." I nod. "He was really shitty to leave - I get that. I know that waking up one day and abandoning your family isn't something a good person does. But up until that morning, he'd always been a great husband and father. At least as far as I could tell. Maybe he and Mom had problems, but they never aired them to me or my sister. We had this traditional nuclear family and we were so happy. Well, I guess everyone but Dad was. But then he left us with no warning. And it's silly - I know it's silly - but part of me thought he was going to come back. And when Mom couldn't find him to sign the divorce papers, I thought he intended to come back. Clearly he hasn't. And he won't. I known that now. But Mom told me yesterday before we left that she was seeing someone, and it just hit home again that my family is never going to be whole again."

"That's not silly. Your entire life changed - it's only natural to wish it could go back to how it was. Is this new relationship serious?"

Jonas shrugs. "I guess. It's not new, though. This guy was her high school sweetheart and they dated until college. He found her on Facebook I think and they've been talking ever since. He doesn't live in the area, but he intends to visit soon. I think that's why she told me - he's going to be staying here."

"When is he coming?"

"She didn't say. I don't think anything is set in stone yet. He's involved in the music industry somehow but I'm not sure how. Maybe a lawyer or something? I don't know. All I know is that Mom sprung this on me right before we went to Homecoming. I'm sorry I fucked up your night, Emily. That was never my intention."

I anger I'd felt simmering in me all day has died down at this point. "Just as long as it doesn't happen again. We were lucky Hardy was willing to help us."

"He always was a great friend," Jonas sighs.

"Kids! Dinner is ready!" Mae calls down the hall.

I rise and so does Jonas. He leans down and presses a quick kiss to my lips. "Thank you for being so understanding, Emily. I don't know how I got so lucky."