(Complete)~BOOK ONE OF THE ENDEARMENT SERIES~
Arabella hasn't had the best childhood, resulting in bad grades, rebel behaviour and mental health problems. She moves to a new school where she meets Jace.
Jace has a great family, friends and life. But...
It felt like the shadows were closing in on me. Every corner I turned, every empty hallway I walked down, I could feel eyes on me. It wasn't just a feeling—it was a certainty, as real and tangible as the cold wind against my skin when I walked across campus.
This sensation had burrowed deep into my mind, turning every noise into a potential threat, every stranger into a potential enemy. I could hardly tell anymore if I was being paranoid or justifiably cautious.
I kept my head down, books clutched tightly against my chest as I navigated the throngs of students. Their laughter and chatter, once a comforting background noise, now sounded distant and muffled, as if I were underwater. I couldn't shake the feeling that someone was always just a few steps behind me, silent and watchful.
In the midst of this constant unease, Jace's voice broke through my reverie, unexpectedly clear and close. "Bella, we need to talk."
I flinched, not having heard him approach. Turning, I found him standing there with a look of deep concern etched across his features. His eyes searched mine, likely looking for a sign of the girl he used to know.
"Can we talk at my house?" he asked. His voice was gentle, but there was an underlying firmness to it that told me this wasn't a request I could easily dismiss.
My heart skipped a beat. Part of me wanted to run away, to avoid any conversations that might delve too deep into what I was feeling—or what I was hiding. But another part, a smaller, quieter part, longed to just spill everything, to let someone else help carry the burden.
"Okay," I managed to reply, my voice barely above a whisper. The word felt like a concession, a defeat, but also like a first step toward something else, something necessary.
The walk to Jace's house was a blur of anxiety. With each step, I felt as if I was moving further from the safety of isolation and closer to a precipice. By the time we reached his front door, my hands were trembling so much I had to clench them into fists to keep them steady.
Once inside, the familiar surroundings of Jace's home did little to ease my nerves. We sat in his living room, the setting sun casting long shadows across the floor, mirroring the darkness that seemed to cling to my thoughts.
"Where's Delilah?" I asked nervously.
"Out with friends, she'll be back later."
Good.
I didn't want her to hear this
Jace took a deep breath before he spoke, his voice steady but filled with worry. "Bella, I've noticed you've been... different, distant. I know something's wrong, and I think it's time you tell me what it is. You're not alone in this."
The concern in his eyes was almost my undoing. Tears pricked at the back of my eyes, a lump formed in my throat. The room felt too small, the walls seemed to press in on me, and that suffocating feeling of being watched crept closer.
As Jace's worried eyes searched mine for some kind of explanation or reassurance, I felt the weight of the world crushing me from all sides. His living room, once a place of comfort and safety, now felt like a battleground where our words would collide with the force of our fears.
"Bella, whatever it is, we can fix it together. You don't have to push me away," Jace pleaded, his voice laced with desperation and a hint of frustration.
I shook my head, tears welling up in my eyes as I steeled myself for what I had to say next. Every fiber of my being screamed to take his help, to lean on him, but the darker, rational part of my mind knew the truth—I had to push him away to keep him safe.
"Jace, you don't understand. It's not that simple. There's nothing you can do to help me. This isn't your fight, and I don't want you dragged into it," I said, my voice breaking under the strain of my emotions.
He stood up abruptly, his chair scraping back against the floor. "That's where you're wrong, Bella. It became my fight the moment I fell in love with you. I'm not just going to stand by and watch you suffer alone. Tell me what's going on. Let me help."
His words stabbed at me, reminding me of all the reasons why I loved him, yet they also echoed the countless reasons why I had to leave. My heart ached with the thought of what I was about to do, but the fear of seeing him hurt—or worse—because of me was unbearable.
"No, Jace! You think you want to help, but you don't know what you're asking for. You don't know what it's like to always look over your shoulder, to jump at every shadow! I won't have you live like that. I can't have you live like that," I shouted, my voice raw with emotion.
"Bella, please—"
"I'm done, Jace," I interrupted, the finality in my voice more chilling than I intended. I'd made my decision. "I'm leaving. By Monday, I'll be gone. I'm going back to my aunt's, and then I'm leaving for another place—somewhere far away where none of you can be dragged into this mess."
Jace looked stricken, his face pale and his body rigid. "You can't just run away from this. Running won't solve anything. Let me—"
"No!" I cut him off, more harshly this time. The room spun slightly as I fought the dizziness that came with my rising panic. "You think I want this? You think I don't want your help? I have to do this, Jace. It's the only way to keep you safe. You have to let me go. Forget about me. Please, just... let me go."
Tears streamed down my face as I turned away from him, the sob in my chest threatening to break free. I couldn't bear to see the hurt in his eyes anymore. Without another word, I ran out of his house, the door slamming shut behind me with a finality that echoed my resolve.
I heard it open again before I heard Jace call my name.
"Arabella!" He shouted.
Not Bella.
Not Love.
Not any of my little nicknames I'd come to love so much. I think it hit me straight in the gut when I realised... I may never get to hear him say those words again.
As I ran, the cold air bit at my cheeks, and my thoughts raced faster than my legs could carry me.
This was for the best. This was to protect him. The pain of leaving him was excruciating, but the thought of anything happening to him because of me was worse.
I couldn't, wouldn't allow that.
As the distance between us grew, I didn't dare look back. The path forward was lonely and fraught with unknowns, but it was the only path I could take.
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