Dev-Divine Intervention

Part 11:

My addition to the dollar general roster was a breathe of fresh air. Finally, after a month of sulking in the sheets I found a purpose for waking up every day. Choosing at this point to look inward and work on myself in the process. So, I eliminated toxicity from all angles of my life and I began to take life more seriously. Being that my relationship with Devin was the closest thing to my parents I was having an understanding of what they were dealing with emotionally as if abusive relationships runs in the bloodline. I decided to apply my father's take on life of not taking things so seriously and when life got to be hard I'd hear his voice saying: chill, maintain, don't panic. Admittedly, a statement that rarely ever helped in the past as it would irritate me. "Dad, say that one more time and I'll have to get it put on a T shirt for you."
At this point deciding to have the courage to change from the hotel I was in to another room. " Can I get a room that won't send me into an emotional breakdown?" when I look over next to me in an empty place in bed where Devin use to sleep. Going from
Downstairs to upstairs and it was a decision I should have made long before then.
It was then I would receive a call I never thought I would get at the time. It was Devin "Ryan can you please get here I need you!" Emotions run high as the progress I've made diminished and that is when I would run to him. I would run to his rescue and as I get out of the car I would walk up to him and he would come pouring into my arms. Crying he would say " Ryan W. Is fucking crazy and I need your help Ry to find Missy. In the moment when he needed me I was there and my emotions come flooding back.
The back story being in the form of karma because what fueled this fight between Ryan W vs. Devin was due to Devin paying the new landlord they had directly instead of giving the money to him. Crazy to think after Devin experienced how this man operated that he would go in with him on another place to live. Eventually we found Missy 🐈‍⬛ and Devin looks at me and asks me to take her with me to my hotel room. "Ry the only person I can trust to take care of her is you." In a twist of fate that brought us back into each other's lives.
It was during this time that I was comforted and reminded of how much Missy adored me. I can only assume that she saw the purest intentions in my soul and how much not only loved her but Devin as well. Guilt would emerge at the reminder of Elsa being in another home. Or at least I hoped.
Unable to maintain my stay at the hotel and needing a place to go Devin allowed me to stay with him. But under his control he wasn't as welcoming as I was when I offered him my home. Quickly hitting the resume button on his anger towards me due to the only purpose he had for me was to protect Missy. He knew I would take care of her but he wanted nothing to do with me but he had to manipulate me in order to achieve his goal. He held nothing back by reminding me every chance he could and in front of others to why he was helping me and it was because I saved him from Alabama. You wouldn't hear the appreciation in his voice but instead resentment. Especially when he got the news he was fired by turkey hill and the manager he loved so dearly turned on him.
He decided to leave for a weekend retreat with his landlord whom shared his interest in drug addiction. He would return with a fire under his ass and pissed that I was trying to communicate with him while he was gone. Explaining that he didn't need to hear my thoughts or opinions and that my purpose was to sleep, eat, and eventually sooner rather than later. LEAVE.
Explaining in front of Virginia how he is a creature of habit and repeats a pattern. Burning bridges everywhere he goes as he did in Alabama. This statement was met with attacks by both Devin and Virginia as once again Devin's only ability to have a backbone was in the presence of others. Once again packing my stuff and leaving I look at Virginia and say " eventually he will turn on you." It was met with anger and yelling as I walked out the door.
As result I'm back where I started alone in my car with no place to go and nobody to turn too. My brother wouldn't even allow me to sleep on his floor of his hotel room. But on the bright side I was a rock star at my job and everyone loved me and my sense of humor. But for Virginia during this time it only took less than two months of my exit for me to be proven right. Devin not only turned on her but once she had a warrant for her arrest and couldn't come into town. That meant he wasn't required to pay rent.
Deciding to put him on the back burner of my brain I spent nights sleeping in my car and the money coming in was spent repairing the issues with my car that I was forced to avoid due to circumstances with Devin. Crying to Christine I would explain how this job meant to me and how it saved me. I didn't have a lot of things but I had a purpose everyday and I was able to provide a smile everyday. Laughing and giving my customers a memorable experience. I truly loved my job as well as how I felt about myself. However as each day passed and I saw how I was changing for the better and the people around me loved me with my only flaw was wishing that one of those people were Devin. Yes,he was an awful human but there was a small part of me that thought there was a decent human inside there. Regardless it was time for me to let go. It's time for me to focus on my job even if I'm sleeping in my car. It's time for me to focus me, unfortunately with a heart like mine that would prove difficult.