Dev-Divine Intervention

Part 5:

My issues before Devin's arrival was my issues with employment. I walked out of my job as assistant manager of turkey hill after a very abusive work environment. During the pandemic there was an issue with people wanting to work or come to work which left management being the only ones to carry the store. I was working 60+ hours each week all while being on call for every employee issue due to being the only other manager that lived close enough to accommodate the needs of the employees. Working at a turkey hill location that served hot food. Issue being one person unable to ring customers up at the register , complete food orders, and maintain a clean work environment. It was an unbeatable situation where higher ups had different angles to not accept responsibility for their lack of leadership. Some of these managers and district managers couldn't manage a lemonade stand more less a gas station.
At the time of Devin's arrival I was unemployed and processing the loss of my father and the loss of my job. But my luck changed when I got a job working for a shipping company. Once again I've decided to sacrifice myself for a job. Working long hours with hardly no time off. Mixed with the emotions of my feelings for Devin and the route our relationship was in both of us was not happy. The depression part of it was I wanted to work through it but every effort was met with a brick wall. Devin telling me that he couldn't be with anyone who lacked emotional immaturity. Which was a statement that bargained hypocrisy when his relationship history and his attraction was felons , with tattoos, and if they were taken; that was even better. He was making statements without looking inward. If my feelings wasn't valid then why were we in a marriage type relationship that had us sleeping in the same bed naked and our bills connected and importantly why didn't he choose to sleep anywhere else but next to me? This was a level of confusion that left me In a type of limbo. I was holding on to a hope that he would eventually see how much I love him and want to build with him however it was met with patience. "Ryan, I was raped by my brother. you don't think I don't wanna make you happy ? Sexually or emotionally? I do but I just can't." I understood. Despite still trying sometimes to engage in sexual activity but I always stopped when he gave me the signal too. I loved him. I thought we had equal emotional damage that we came into each other life to help build each other up.
It was through this job that I returned home from work to find that the room I offered to Devin. Devin made the executive decision to let his coworker move in. She moved in and decided not to pay ever. It caused problems in our relationship because my argument was he should handled the issue because he was the reason she was here. Deciding that he wasn't going to take responsibility he shifted that duty to me.
However, every attempt was met with procrastination. You don't realize how much you are being manipulated when you are cast under a manipulative love spell. I accept responsibility in the fact I should have made better choices back then. I should have put boundaries in place to protect myself. I didn't and you'll learn in the long run I paid the ultimate price.
My emotional state took a turn for the worst when I took a week off my job because I was sick with Covid. During this time. I lost my dog and when I was better to go back to work they gave my route away and laid me off. Back at square one and without a job.
I can't brush over my attachment to my dog. Luke, he was the best dog ever. Having him in my life for 10 years he was so loyal. Had I not been to sick and the only one with the ability to drive I would have taken him to the vet. I woke up to find him laid out on the floor of my living room. Devin was there for me through my grief and I can only look back and think that was what clouded my judgement. In the moment it only allowed my attachment to attach further. I loved him.
What I didn't know at the time was Devin was building resentment for me that was growing. Did I forget to tell you that Devin has diagnosed bipolar disorder mixed with ADHD. But is that an excuse for lack of communication and selfishly ruining someone's life?