Part47

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Foxes react: chapter16 part2

They all let a breath that they were holding escape as they saw Wymack stopping Neil from turning the knife to his face, they knew there was nothing to be worried about, there was nothing that showed that Neil had done it successfully but there relief was still there.
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It'd never been all right. It'd come close in fleeting patches, in stolen moments with his teammates and in their last-second wins, but it'd always been overshadowed by this awful truth. Every time Neil blinked he remembered a little more of his Christmas vacation. Every time he moved he felt Riko's hands and blades and fire on his skin. He'd let Riko take him apart time and time again because it was the only way to survive, because bending should have kept him from breaking, but Neil didn't know if he could pull himself back together one more time. He wasn't strong enough for this. He never had been. His mother had held him up but she was gone now.
"Neil," Wymack said.
Neil, Wymack called him, even when he looked like this, even with his father's face and his father's eyes and the Moriyamas' number on his face. Neil, Wymack called him, and more than anything Neil wanted it to be true. He stopped fighting to get free; the hands that had been trying to wrench Wymack's arms off him now held on for dear life.
"Help me," he said through gritted teeth.
"Let me," Wymack shot back, so Neil closed his eyes.

Some had at this point tears shedding at all of this, it was bad they know it but for Neil to look like, that think like and actually admit that he needed help, it felt like their lungs had been crushed. Andrew's eyes were the ones with the most fire in them, it was hatred towards Riko and he was not the only one, everyone in the room wished they could be able to do something.
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"Can I let go of you and trust you to behave, or are you going to try and cut your face off again? I want to check on your stitches."
"I'll behave," Neil said.
"Forgive me if I don't trust you," Wymack said, but he let go.

There were quite laughter from some, they were there with the sole purpose of easing the tension in the room but it didn't help much.
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They got back to their feet. Wymack meant it when he said he didn't trust Neil, because he took Neil back to the living room and out of eyesight of the knives. Wymack gestured at Neil to shed his shirt, but Neil couldn't move well enough to get it off. Wymack eyed him for a moment, then left to get his cooking scissors. He brandished them at Neil in a question, and Neil nodded. He held perfectly still while Wymack cut his shirt off of him.
Wymack didn't say anything about the scars. He didn't say anything about how many bandages Neil had wrapped around his chest and abdomen or how many bruises showed around the gauze. He just checked Neil over with a clinical eye and poked at every line of stitches for weaknesses. Neil stood silent and still and let him work. He'd ripped threads loose on his side, down near his waist, but that gash was almost healed anyway. Wymack pushed at Neil's skin to see if it would bleed and came back with clean fingers.
Wymack peeled off blood-crusted bandages and dropped them on the coffee table. He surveyed the damage, then left. Neil heard a drawer snick open and closed, and the faucet cut on for a couple seconds. Wymack came back with a wet wash cloth and a small first aid kit. Neil tried to take the cloth from him, but he couldn't close his fingers tight enough to hold onto it. Wymack pushed his hand out of the way and scrubbed dried blood from Neil's skin. It hurt, but Neil gritted his teeth and stayed silent.
It made him think of long nights on the road, of catching his breath in safe houses all around the world. For a moment Neil remembered how his mother's fingers felt on his skin. He remembered the bite of needles moving in and out as she threaded his broken body back together. The new heat crawling up his throat to prick at his eyes was grief. Neil blinked it away as hard as he could.
"One day we're going to talk about this," Wymack said in a low voice.
"After finals," Neil said without looking at him. "After we beat the Ravens. Then I'll tell you whatever you want to know. I'll even tell you the truth."
"I'll believe that when I see it."
Wymack carried the dirty bandages and washcloth out of the room. Neil sank onto the couch and looked at Wymack's bottle of scotch. Wymack's empty glass sat off to one side. It took no work to fill it and less to knock it back. The heat was familiar, as was the harsh aftertaste.
"I thought you didn't drink," Wymack said from the doorway.

It surprised the all, all except Wymack who Neil explained the why to. It was the first time they saw him drink so everyone wanted to see what would happen.
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"I don't," Neil said, "unless I have to. We used alcohol as anesthetics because we couldn't risk going to the hospital." The words burned his lips more than the whisky did. Neil put the glass down and let his fingers linger on the rim. He didn't let go until he was sure his hand wasn't trembling, and then he traced the ugliest of his scars with his index finger. "Too many questions. Too much lost time. It was safer to drink away the pain."
He clenched his hand and lowered it to his lap. "Is that enough, Coach? It's a truth on credit to hold you until spring."
"Yes," Wymack said. "It's enough for now."

Sighs were heard all around because of course it was going to be something about his mother and the time on the run, but don't get it wrong it hurt them the same as other times that Neil's past was brought up or if something new was added.
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"I didn't sign it," Neil said, looking up from his hands. He lifted his fingers to his face. He couldn't feel his tattoo, but he'd seen Kevin's often enough that he knew exactly where it was. "He gave me a contract but I wouldn't sign it. He couldn't make me. This doesn't mean anything. I'm still a Fox."
"Of course you are," Wymack said.

It made some smile, they were not bright with happiness, they were happy that yes he didn't sign it but behind the smiles it was relief.

(Book2 is officially over and soon book3 will be starting 🥳🥳👏👏👏)

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