Not Yours

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Dedicated to SulagnaDash186

🎶 Selena Gomez - Back To You 🎶

The next day, the doctors allowed me to take my mother back to the apartment. I didn't know much about this cancer but I was sure by the look at the doctors that they knew the end was near. I hated it. I hated that the end was near. That I was going to lose my mother. Day by day she seemed more lean and thin. We could see her bones. I cancelled my lunch with Mausam to be with my mother. I didn't give her any excuses and she didn't ask anything either.

While lying on the bed all I could think of was him. I wanted to see him properly. There was this urge to see him that I opened my phone and texted Mausam that I would meet her two days later. She replied quickly fixing the time at noon. I bet she was excited. I was nervous. Would he be there? or would she warn him about me so he could stay away from the house that day?

I was almost in front of Mausam's house. I straightened myself up and knocked at the door. Mausam opened it and pulled me into a hug. Laxmi was there to stay beside my mother while I was here. To have a friend whom you could count on bitter days was a blessing.

She made me sit on a tool in the kitchen while she started making coffee.

"I see you have got tattoos," she said handing me a cup and sitting beside me. Her eyes were on my shoulder and then at my hand. I had a swirly black tattoo on the back of my right hand starting from the wrist and reaching the index and middle finger.

Her eyes stayed on my left ring finger for a while. I had a smiley tattoo there at the end. I knew what was coming.

"Is it..."

I was afraid she would take his name.

"I got it to remind myself to smile," I quickly said.

She nodded averting her eyes.

I wanted to ask her about him but I couldn't.

"He is doing well better than ever," she whispered.

My heart stopped. I pretended not to hear it.

She looked at me waiting for me to speak.

"Good for him," was all I could manage to say.

"So where were you all this time?" she questioned.

I told her about my life in New Zealand and London.

"You could have stayed in contact,"

"I wanted to have my time,"

What I meant was I wanted to be away from them all.

"I understand," she said squeezing my hand.

Mausam's phone buzzed and she looked at it. She sighed. She slowly turned to me.

"Let's make something to eat,"

The whole afternoon all we did was eat and talk. I silently thanked her for not talking about him. Deep down I wanted to know everything about him, his life, his wife and his children. I knew better than to talk about it.

It was already evening and we were watching a movie. I was continuously checking on my mother. Laxmi said she was fine and some of her other friends were there to accompany her. She suggested I take a night off but I refused.

"Why don't you spend the night ?" Mausam asked.

"Here?" I looked around.

Mausam nodded.

I almost opened my mouth to say no.

"Nimek won't be back today so you don't need to feel uncomfortable," she shrugged.

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