The Other Woman

Cuffed

"Alan," I whispered but he didn't speak.

I had to shake him to open his eyes.

"I don't want you to leave," he whispered.

Did he know I was leaving the country? He must have assumed I would be leaving the place. I opened my mouth but nothing came out.

"Please don't leave me,"

"Whose fault is that?" I snapped.

If it weren't for him I wouldn't have to leave. If someone were to find out I was leaving they would probably say 'The heartbreak was so bad that she had to leave the country'

"Mine. I am to blame,"

"Let me go,"

He shook his head.

"I don't want to," he said slowly looking at my eyes.

"I am sorry," he whispered.

I was forced to place my forehead on his. He was crying and I hated seeing him cry. My heart softened.

"Alan. It's for the better. I can't stay,"

Alan hugged me tighter.

"I can't leave her. My hands are cuffed," he said. I opened my mouth but he went on. "I wish I could make it right. I wish I could do this right, Dakshu," he whispered.

"Even if you leave her I will always remain number two,"

I feel him shake his head.

"You are and will always remain my number one," he whispered. "Right now I might not be able to make it right but one day I will,"

"It's too late for that, Alan. I have already moved on,"

"Don't lie," he said looking at me. I tried to hide my eyes from him but couldn't.

"You haven't,"

"I haven't,"

He was right. I could never move on from him. From this heartbreak. He stared at my lips for a second and then kissed me. I didn't stop him. I couldn't. I wanted to feel his lips on mine. Then suddenly I did.

"No," I whispered.

I tried to get out of his lap but he didn't let me.

"I ask you for nothing, Dakshu. Not even forgiveness. Don't forgive me. I won't care," he cried. "Just don't hate me. Don't forget me,"

He loosened his hold on me and let me slide away. How could I tell him that he was planted in my heart in a way that even if I tried to throw him away I couldn't? Throwing him away meant throwing myself away. That meant death.

We sat in silence and then he started the engine. I exited the car when he stopped before the building and didn't look back. I didn't hear his voice again. I went inside and locked the door sliding down on the floor. That's when I cried like I lost someone to death. The only thing was I had lost someone to life, to another person.

***

Mausam stood looking at me when we were finally done with all the packing. I had sent most of my things to my mother's place. I couldn't go back to meet her again. Seeing her would break me and I was afraid I would tell her the truth. I would tell her that just like her lover mine shattered my life too.

"Done," I said not meeting her eyes.

She walked towards me and handed me the tickets. I was going to New Zealand. There was someone Mausam knew who would receive me. I was planning to stay there for some time and then I would move to another place. Where I hadn't planned yet. I was leaving this place for good and I didn't want even Mausam to know where I would be. I wanted to forget everyone and everyone to forget me. Especially Alan. It was funny how if people I knew saw me and got to know about my story they would laugh at me. Why wouldn't they? They would think I couldn't even handle a heartbreak. This pain was so much that I had to leave the country. Not that I would care but thinking about it's so embarrassing.

An hour later we were off to the airport, my heart pounding on my chest. I closed my eyes and saw Alan. He was smiling. I opened my eyes and sighed. Earlier in the morning I had gone to see Alan. I had waited outside the building to get a glimpse of him. An hour later I saw him as usual in his cap but with a hoodie on. The weather had suddenly turned into a cold one. He looked more desirable in that look. How I had wished I was walking alongside him.

"He is someone else's husband," I had whispered.

"This is wrong. My heart is wrong,"

He was walking on the street alone. For a second, when he stopped walking. I was afraid he had seen me but thankfully even if he looked around he couldn't see me. I couldn't say what he was looking for. I wanted to stand in front of him and take one last look. I wanted to look at his eyes and stare into it for a while. I wanted to get lost in his beautiful face.

I hadn't told Mausam about it. I couldn't bring myself to make fun of me.

We stood in front of the airport looking at each other.

"It's time," she said pulling me into a hug.

"Goodbye," I whispered.

"I hope to see you again," she said.

I nodded.

"Don't tell..."

"I won't,"

"No one knows about me leaving right? I mean, who cares but...."

"No one knows. Not even Nimek," she whispered.

"Thanks,"

"Keep in touch," she said.

I was sure in a few months I would leave New Zealand. I would cut all the contacts with all the people I know. That would be better for all of us. As much as I loved talking with Mausam It was for better. Talking to her only would make me miss Alan. I wouldn't be able to get over him. She had been a really good friend to me but I wanted to do this for the better.

"I am going to miss you," she said before walking away.

I was going to miss more than you knew.

Once I walked towards the entrance I called my mother to tell her that I was about to get on the plane. We only talked for a brief minute. She asked me to be back soon. Only if she knew I wasn't coming back for a long time. Not until I forgot him, his betrayal. There was this urge to call Alan. I locked my phone and put it inside the bag. It would be a bad idea. It had been a week since our last incident. I felt a burn on the back of my head. I turned around. I felt as if someone was watching me. I knew who I was searching for. He didn't even know I was leaving. Even if he knew he wouldn't be here. Why would he?

"Bad Gut," I murmured walking in.

This was it. I was going to leave and I would never be back. Once I was sitting on my seat I closed my eyes only to find his face.

"Why don't you leave me alone," I whispered. "I am leaving you. You do the same,"

The plane started to take off and I looked down thinking of him. In a few years, I would forget him. At least I was hopeful about it. I wouldn't remember him. My heart would forget that once I was in love with a man who was soft to me. 

"I am going to forget him," I murmured while drifting to sleep.

"I will stop loving you,"