An Unknown Feeling ( A JIKOOK FF)

28.

*A Taegi focused chapter with a side of NamJin.*

The following week was as mundane as ever.
Everyone way busy getting back to the rhythm of classes and assignments.

But Taehyung's comment about not wanting to be in a relationship in the first semester hit Yoongi like a pile of bricks. He knew that Tae was joking probably but what if he wanted to see what's out there and he deserves the world.

So, Yoongi immersed himself into his music. Producing and writing really sad music, he didn't know why his heart was hurting so much. Tae never expressed any interest in being his boyfriend and was just being his lovey goofy self. How could Yoongi not develop feeling for him.

For long, Yoongi always had boyfriends and girlfriends but it was never serious. He always had prioritized his music dreams and studying over everything.
He hated himself for always it to go so deep. Initially he through it's a small crush, it will pass.

But the more time he spent with Tae more worse it got. Tae had this uncanny ability to make people feel like they are the most important person in the room when he's talking to them. Yoongi's introverted nature or his sometimes awkward habits didn't seem to deter him.

Yoongi sat gloomily at his desk that evening, writing yet another sad song. He had seen hardships through out his life. His parents had never supported his music career and wanted him to get a degree before, after countless arguments and fights they had mutually agreed to a compromise. Yoongi will get his degree as well as pursue his music career. Thought that didn't stop them from criticizing his life choices.

Yoongi felt tears pricking his eyes, he hated feeling vulnerable. He was supposed to be the hyung and take care of other while here he was crying over a non existent unrequited love. Words seemed to fills the pages yet no relief from the pain.

He told himself that he will conquer this, wondering what it takes for successful relationships. Would he ever find someone who love him for him?
So may questions popped in his mind but only one person who he could think of who would help him,
None other than his only hyung.

He didn't want to wake Namjoon as he would intellectualize it and point out logical solutions. Which at the moment he didn't want.

So here he was having a late night drink with Jin. One amazing thing about Jin was that he immediately knew Yoongi needed him but didn't force anything out of him. Just invited him in and offered the drink. They talked about random stuff. Jin told him about his dissertation and how sometimes people underestimate him cause of his good looks. Followed by his iconic laugh.

Soon Namjoon came offering to make something for dinner. Before Yoongi could refuse Jin said let's have ramen noodles and hinted at Namjoon to make it.
"So, what's been bothering you?"
"Huh. Nothing hyung."
"Come on don't make me force it out of you, we both know you don't have to pretend to be okay."
Hearing that Yoongi's resolve broke, "Just sometimes I feel so lonely and I want to feel love like how you and Namjoon hyung have."
"Hmmm. But."

"But I have this baggage with me and I do t want to drag someone down. I feel things too deeply and notice things which others don't. Lots of times that's great but sometimes it's like a curse. And I'm sort of in love with someone who makes me feel myself like without any conditions, thought I'm sure he would do that to anyone in a heartbeat. I know I shouldn't feel that way for him cause he's a friend. Sometimes I think he likes me too but others I'm not sure. It's very subtle or it's completely in my head and I'm making a big deal out of nothing. Maybe he does treat everyone with kindness and pats their head when they're tired. Knows that despite me saying I don't like too much physical contact deep down I appreciate it, so always initiates it. I-I"

Jin immediately hugged him, "Hey it's okay. If he doesn't like you it's his loss. You deserve the world. I'm sure he'll realize it soon. Whenever you need I'm here okay."

Soon their peaceful moment was disturbed by the fire alarm ringing. Jin immediately ran to the kitchen seeing a perplexed Namjoon with a burned stove and smoke. Yoongi's immediately disabled the alarm while Jin opened doors and windows while throwing the pan in the sink.
"What I'm I going to do with you."
"Sorry, I got distracted by this beat and thought of a song. I promise I'll clean it. So let's just order some food."
"Fine" Jin said smiling at Namjoon's face as he looked like a lost puppy. "Let's buy and keep lots of cup noodles."

"You okay?" He looked at Yoongi and asked.
" Yes hyung. Thank you. " Yoongi smiled back. The conversation had make him feel lighter.
Jin knew he hated people advising him unnecessarily so he had said exactly what he needed. Yoongi knew Jin knew who he was referring to but didn't ask him and just listened.

That's why their bond was so special. He could always rely on Jin. Jin could always know when to give his opinions and when to be understanding.

Plus, Yoongi noticed how Jin jokingly scolded Namjoon and told him to only cook cup noodles. Everything they did was so enduring. They could have serious conversations to silly fights to playing around like kids. Even if they had contrasting opinions they always agreed to disagree.
Yoongi wanted that, the ability of two completely different people to come together and from such an amazing bond.

Taehyung on the other hand, wasn't sure what he was feeling he knew that what he felt for Yoongi was not friendship but something more. He needed time to figure it out. Plus with studies and his theatre group he hardly got alone time with Yoongi.

He decided to test out his feeling before making any rash decisions. Jimin and he had come up with a plan to see does he like the attention or are they like best friends or is it more and he actually might like Yoongi.