Mommy/Mistress❤

53.

Cobie - I smile and say, well today is to let you know how therapy is with me. There are different therapists out there that do things differently then I do. I watch you nod as you listen intently. I then say, since I do both big and little spaces for therapy, depending on what headspace your in when you come here tells me what we do.

Y/n - I nod my head and say, so if I'm big like I am now, what would we do?

Cobie - well, we can start on how the week or day was for you. If it was an emergency meeting then we'd talk about what happened that made you want to come and talk with me. Or if scarlett and lizzie made the emergency meeting then we'd talk about that. We can talk about whatever you're comfortable talking about. If there are things you want to tell me but are afraid to tell Lizzie and scarlett then we can do that and I won't tell them unless I have your permission.

Y/n - I smile at that and nod my head. Okay, I think I like that. There are some things that I've been wanting to tell them but I get scared to when I go to say something. I see cobie nod and smile. I look down and say, what happens when I'm little?

Cobie - oh, when your little, I have some toys that we can play with or if you want to color I have some fun coloring books that we can do. I'll ask some simple questions to see how you're feeling.

Y/n - I nod my head and say, that seems okay. Better than what I thought it was going to be. I shrug and say, what if I'm between headspaces. Sometimes I'm in between my headspaces.

Cobie - good question, I'd most likely ask you what you would be comfortable doing, we could draw or sit and talk. This will go at whatever pace you want or need. I'm not trying to speed up your progress or anything like that. I want you to be at your best in whatever headspace you're in and comfortable with what's going on. Do you want to know something?

Y/n - I nod and say, that sounds relieving. I do want to know whatever that something is.

Cobie - I chuckle at the way you said that and nod my head. When I first met lizzie, I was having the worst day of my life. Everything felt like it was against me. But I ran into lizzie and she made me feel valid in my emotions when I was talking with her. I told her how my ex girlfriend had just broken up with me and the reason is because I said no to something she wanted to do. So lizzie told me that no is a full sentence. I live by that to this day and will forever live by that. So if I ask you something and you don't want to or you feel uncomfortable just say no. I won't ask about that until you want to tell me. Or if I do something just say no and I won't do it again. You understand y/n?

Y/n - I frown when she told me how everything felt against her that day because I know how that feels. But smile when she tells me that lizzie helped her. I nod my head and say, I understand. I like that lizzie helped you that day and I'm glad she is still in your life. I feel like even when you do something wrong and you hurt her shell still be there for you, even when she probably shouldn't.

Cobie - I smile and nod my head, I find that this is the perfect opportunity to ask, what do you mean by that? Did you hurt her?

Y/n - I freeze and look at cobie with fear. I see her furrow her eyebrows a bit confused by my reaction but she doesn't get up and come to me like I thought she would. I uh was upset about something I don't even remember now when I was in little space and I said she wasn't my mommy and that scar wasn't my mama.

Cobie - I nod and say, well did you apologize and not say that again? I see you nod so I then ask, did they forgive for that? I see you nod again. Okay, well you shouldn't keep that in you. You were forgiven and you havent done it again. I don't think you should punish yourself more for that.

Y/n - I look at her confused and say, but when I was with Emily, or my mom even, I would get punished for every little thing. Even if I didn't do something. They would beat me up while saying things that I'm ungrateful and I deserve to be treated like trash. If I didn't do something at that specific time or have it done before they got home then I was beat and was told some stuff I don't feel comfortable repeating.

Cobie - I frown as I take in what you said. You didn't deserve anything close to that. You deserve love and care and many more things. Have lizzie or scarlett treated you like how your mom and Emily did?

Y/n - no they haven't and I don't think it's possible for them to do that but sometimes if I get in trouble they don't give me warnings and they just punish me, which I deserve but sometimes I get flashbacks from those times with Emily or mom and I think that makes it worse for me.

Cobie - I nod my head and write that down. I look up and see a slight panic so I explain. I'm writing things down so I remember them. It helps me remember in case we run out of time during our session and want to go over our next session. I won't tell or show anyone unless I have your permission. Okay? I see you nod and let out a sigh. Okay, I think we should grab lizzie and scarlett. Would you like me to tell them that they should give warnings before a punishment? Big or little. Even if you had no warning before to fix whatever your behavior is... they should warn you.

Y/n - I nod my head and say, yes please. I think it'll help me with the flashbacks at least.

Cobie - I smile and say, would you like to draw or color while I talk with them? I see you nod so I grab some paper, crayons, and pencils. I set them on the table in the little cubbie corner I have in the room and say, here you go sweetheart. I'll go and talk to them while you color or draw. I fell my smile growing when you smile and walk over with a little jump in your step. I walk to the door and open it calling lizzie and scarlett in. We stay by the door as I tell them what you wanted me to.

Lizzie - I frown but nod my head. Okay, thank you cobie. We will start doing that. When she we set up a new appointment?

Cobie - um right now, I'd probably do every 2/3 days. But she opened up once I explained what we would do in either headspace or even if she's in between, she liked what was said so I feel like we are a good match. Can you tell me who Emily is?

Scar - I feel myself get angry at her name and say, it's the Emily we know. Emily Vancamp, they were together for three years and the abuse got very bad. From what she told us at least. I see cobie nod and get angry herself when she realizes it was a friend of ours.

Lizzie - her next appointment is in 2 days, what should we do in the meantime? She has been having bad thoughts and we don't want her to go to self harm.

Cobie - give her a notebook, I'll tell her what she can do if she has bad thoughts. I see them nod so I tell them to wait back out in the waiting room. I turn back to you and say, y/n, honey can talk to you before we get you back to your mommy and mama.

Y/n - I look over and nod my head. I leave my stuff where it is and walk back to cobie. I sit on the couch and look at her with a small smile.

Cobie - I smile and say, thank you honey. Now I know sometimes when you have had a bad day or had grown up with people treating you the way they have been like your mom and Emily, that you have bad thoughts. Do you have any bad thoughts or have you had any that you've noticed lately?

Y/n - I frown and nod my head, I have and I told lizzie and scarly that a couple of days ago. I wanted to tell you about it when I got to know you more and after our first real session. Did they say that to you?

Cobie - I nod my head not wanting to lie to you. They did but they only did it because they wanted to know how to approach or know what to do when you have those thoughts. I told them to get you a notebook, for only you. If you wanted you could share it with me during one of our sessions or after. Up to you honey but what I want you to do is write down what happened and what your thoughts are. Can you do that for me?

Y/n - I nod my head and say, I think I can. Thank you cobie.

Cobie - no problem honey. If you want to talk to me at any time. Lizzie has my number. Any time okay? I smile when you nod, so I get up and say, lets get you to lizzie and scarly.

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