Infrunami - Taylor Swift x female OC

Chapter Thirteen

warning!! this chapter contains a panic attack, mental breakdown (?), and just pure angst. my bad yall.

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Bonnies Office, Sacramento, California

December 20th, 2015

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I wish you were a boy.

Camila repeats the words in her head for a week straight.

She thinks about them while she's playing cars with Dalia, she thinks about them while Jasper is singing "Bad Blood" on the drive to school, she thinks about it while she's in a hockey match, she thinks about it while she's meeting fans, she thinks about it before she goes to sleep, she thinks about it when she wakes up.

It's consuming her. She can't stop thinking about it.

"I don't think she meant it like that." She tells Kaylee, avoiding her friends sympathetic eyes. "She was probably just joking. That's what we do." Her voice sounds small as she stares at the wall. "We joke."

I wish you were a boy.

She's thinking about them when she gets the text from her agent saying she has to come to a meeting right away, but they slowly fade out when she walks into the office to see Bonnie and her legal team all sitting around a table with solemn and angry expressions. Though, they don't seem to be towards her.

"What's happening?" She questions quietly as she turns off her phone and puts it away, forcing herself not to look at the screen for like the 100th time today to see if Taylor texted.

Bonnie has her jaw clenched, eyes not meeting Camilas as she looks through some paper, so someone else on the team speaks.

"We got a letter today." The woman, Abby, says, wheeling her chair over to sit next to Camila. Something is wrong. The people in her office, her lawyers, her agent, they don't like to show emotions. It's nothing personal, but most people here think it'll put you behind in life to spend time pitying yourself. But now, they all look like they're about to scream or cry while they tell her, "Carlos is filing for custody of the kids."

Everything goes silent.

She can barely hear Bonnie speaking.

The lights hanging from the ceiling are suddenly way too bright, and she's sure that's the reason why her skin is so itchy and hot. To fix it, she begins to scratch at herself, something her agent knows she only does when she is nervous or upset. She didn't even notice her breathing was erratic until Bonnie kneels in front of her chair, her voice blurry as Camila gasps for air;

"Just breathe."

It's only then does the brit begin to break down, gripping onto the table like it's going to save her from a panic attack.

Bonnie moves to her side, gently pushing on her shoulders until she's sitting on the floor. She could hear her heartbeat in her ears, like when the kids would tap a drumbeat on her bed over and over again until it was the only sound she could hear. It feels like pins and needles are stabbing her in her chest, and she begins to scratch at it like if she gets her heart to stop beating maybe the feeling will too. "Breath Milly. Just breathe." She doesn't know who said it, but she continues to repeat the words in her head until it's the only thing she can thing about.

She feels bile rising in her throat and forces her to look at the ceiling as if that will stop her from vomiting.

Just breathe