We Can't Be Friends

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I woke up to a crushed packet of crisps on my bed and a bowl of sick next to my face, my girlfriend asleep next to me, completely naked with her hair sprawled out over the pillows and covering her face. My dress from last night was currently being used as a pillow under my head with both of my eyelashes stuck to the side of my face. With a quiet groan, I crawled over to Lizzie and cuddled up to her as she hummed slightly and wrapped her arm around me.

"I feel like a wet sock that's been run over and then eaten by a rabid dog," she mumbled with her eyes still closed.

I nodded in agreement, "did we have sex last night?"

She shook her head, "I don't tend to have sex with unconscious people."

I laughed out my nose and nodded again, "how did we get home?"

"I have no idea," she laughed, "I couldn't tell you one thing that happened last night."

"Glad we're on the same page," I giggled.

"I would murder a McDonald's breakfast right now," she yawned, kissing the top of my head.

I hummed and nodded, "I might make coffee-"

"Yes please, that would be great," she smiled, opening her eyes slightly and looking down at me.

"You could make the coffee," I suggested.

She shook her head quickly, "I'm a guest in this house, make my coffee."

"Can I get a please?" I smirked.

She shook her head again as I raised my brows and she slowly smiled.

"Please make me a coffee," she mumbled.

"You'll do anything I ask," I smirked, climbing out of bed and throwing on an oversized t-shirt.

"That's not true at all."

"I have you whipped; I hope you know that," I giggled.

"You're so not the one who wears the pants in this relationship baby," she laughed.

"I definitely am," I smirked.

"Are you older? No," she started, sitting up slightly, "are you a top? No again. Did I have you withering at my touch in the middle of a wedding yesterday? Yes, I think I did actually."

"This is a dangerous competition," I laughed, throwing a t-shirt in her direction, "do you want me to have to put you in your place?"

"Put me in my place?" she smirked, "how are you planning on doing that?"

"If I told you, it wouldn't be so fun," I replied.

"Does it involve sex?" she asked sweetly.

"No," I lied, "you just relax, I'll get your coffee your highness."

"I'll order breakfast," she laughed out her nose.

I giggled and walked down the hall to my kitchen where I popped the kettle down and got two mugs. As I prepared the drinks, I heard Lizzie hum slightly before shouting straight from my bedroom.

"HASBROWNS AND PANCAKES?" she asked.

"EXTRA HASHBROWNS, NO PANCAKES," I shouted back with a smile.

"OKAY," she laughed slightly, still giggling as I carried back the coffees to my bedroom.

She was sat up with her back against the headboard of the bed, my duvet around her hips so her breasts were hanging there as she scrolled through her phone. Her hair still loose and hanging down by her shoulders with last night's makeup still slightly smudged under her eyes with her hoop earrings still hanging from her ear lobes.

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