1. First Steps

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I'm sitting on a blanket in our garden and watch Grace playing around. It's the first spring day with sunshine and blue sky. I'm wearing a blue dress with little white flowers on it, so does Grace. We love matching outfits.

Grace is 11 months now and she's learning so many things at the moment. She's a bit away from me as I notice she tries to stand up. She's standing on her own for a week now.

E: Charles! Hurry up, come quickly!

Charles was inside to get us some fruits and runs quickly back. He looks confused, asking what's wrong. I point to our daughter.

E: She tries to walk! Look.

He looks to Grace and kneels down. He opens his arms with a big smile on his face.

C: Wanna come to daddy? Come here, mon ange.

I get up and go behind her, to show her she's safe in case she falls back. Her tiny legs are shaking and she tries to take one step.

E: You can do it, Gracie.

C: Daddy is right here.

Charles takes some steps closer to her still with his arms wide open. Grace is trying her best and moves her leg up to take one little step. Charles and I try to hold us back but get very excited about this.

Grace (G): Daddy!

One step at a time she makes her way into Charles arms. He hugs her proud and lifts her up. I come to them.

C: You did amazing, Gracie!

He cuddles her a lot and I give her a kiss on her head. She claps excited because we cheer on her.

E: I can't believe that happened today! I'm so proud of you, Gracie.

Charles shows me to go a few meters away again.

C: Let's walk to mommy!

He let Grace down again and turns her to me. I open my arms for her to come to me. She hesitates and looks to Charles but the makes her way to me. Charles and I cheer again and he's the one coming to us now.

C: Mommy and Daddy love you so much.

He gives her a kiss. He nudges my nose happy. Grace reaches her arms out to Charles and wants on his arm calling for him. I hand her over to him. She's such a daddy girl. But he's away a lot. We decided not to bring Grace to Charles races to give her some privacy. So he doesn't see Grace growing up a lot and missed a few milestones already that's why I'm even more happy for him to be here today and see her first steps.

E: I'm so happy you're here to see that today.

C: I was always scared to miss this after I missed hearing her first words.

He lets Grace down to let her play again.

E: I know..

C: It's the best for her to grow up in a normal world.

I give him a smile but being upset for him. Is this really the best thing if she's not able to see her Dad all the time? Is it better than being in public? I'm really struggling to do the right thing.

***Late at night***

I sit on the sofa and Charles walks downstairs. He put Grace to bed today.

C: She's finally asleep.

E: I thought you felt asleep with her.

I laugh. He shrugs his shoulders with a smirk before he walks behind the sofa to massage my neck.

C: Maybe I did.

I lean my head back and enjoy the massage of Charles. I close my eyes for a moment.

E: She knows you're leaving again.

C: Yes, she's very affectionate.

He stops and goes to the kitchen to get two glass of wine for us. He comes back to me and sits down, handing me one glass.

E: We're doing the right thing, right?

C: I think so. As much as I want her to be with me, I remember how much you wanted that normal life.

I cuddle into Charles side as he lifts up on arm to show me to come and cuddle. He rubs gently over my arm.

E: It would be great if we could support you both at your race.

C: That would be the best thing ever, but she's still a princess and not only my daughter.

He gives me a kiss on my head. I sigh.

E: Always this pressure to behave and be prefect. Even as a baby.

Charles strokes over my cheek as I look to him. He looks deep into my eyes.

C: Do you know how much I love you, princess?

E: Hm, I don't remember. Show me again.

I bite my upper lip and love to tease him. I made him laugh but he kisses me gently. We get more passionate and I go onto his lap. I wrap my arms around his neck as he slides gently his fingers over my back. Charles takes off my dress after we make out even more. He kisses my neck while I move my hips gently onto his lap, to tease him. I take off his shirt and moan quietly as he squeezes my chest. I bite my lip again while I open his pants. He helps me to get them off. He pushes me gently onto the sofa and crawls on top of me, kissing my neck first and going slowly down.

We stop.

I throw my head back on the sofa. Charles moans.

The baby phone turned on.

Grace.

C: Seriously Grace ? Now?

He moans laughing. I giggle and give Charles a kiss. I jump up, pick my dress on the way upstairs to look for Grace who just woke up.

I try to bring Grace back to sleep after I breast feeding her another time. Charles walks silently into the room.

C: Bring her over into our bed. She needs us.

I nod smiling and go with Grace over to our bedroom. We put her in the middle of us and sleep all together.

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