The next few days I kept to myself. Didn't go out much other than the gym to relieve some stress. Chrissy and I hadn't talked much either. I shut out the world completely. Eat, work, workout, sleep. Repeat. I kind of felt like i was a robot. I hadn't responded to Noah either and to no surprise he hadn't reached out to me anymore. Assuming he was wrapped up in the tour. I kept myself from watching videos or going to the bands page on social media. I knew if I did I'd let my guard down.
"Here these are for you, they were on the porch" chrissy hands me these beautiful flowers on her way back in from work. And walked to her bedroom. She's been pretty upset with me and rightfully so.
I held the flowers up to my nose closing my eyes and breathed deep. And saw a note inside.
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Lyrics. Really? Gosh he's so sweet. Tugged at my heart strings. I wanted to call him and thank him for the flowers but I couldn't bring myself to do it.
Days passed as the flowers slowly withered away. And I had looked at the note every night. Giving me some sort of comfort. Noah had called me and texted a few times but I kept myself from answering him. To the point I blocked his number. We had nothing to offer one another. So pushing him away in hopes he would forget all about me. To save the both of us from the hurt.
I walked into the kitchen to find chrissy making some dinner. And I felt I needed to apologize to her. None of this was her fault and I shouldn't have shut her out. But talking about things typically makes it worse for me. But I need her right now.
"You need some help"
"No I'm good, thanks"
"I'm so sorry Chris"
"Sarah you do this every time, I'm your best friend, I've always been here for you and you've treated me like a stranger for a month, what's going on"
"The flowers were from Noah" I say as I look down.
"Awww really that's so cute, what did you say to hi-"
" I blocked his number" her smile slowly faded.
"But why? Why are you pushing him away? Don't you like him? He's good for you"
"Because I'm not good Chris, how many times do I have to say this, I'm broken" a single tear fell from my eye as I lay my head onto the kitchen counter.
"You're not broken Sarah, some of your pieces are just ragged right now but that's understandable. You've been through a lot in life"
"I need to go see my father, can you please come with me"
"Of course, let's have some dinner and then we can head up there"
