Ice is overrated

Chapter 34

Mara ( Trigger warning dark thoughts and verbal abuse)

I wake up and feel so unrested. The sun is shining through my blue curtains casting my room in a blue hue. I love my room so much because it has everything I need to ignore the world today. Yeah, yesterday was my birthday and everyone that matters to me were out of state. They did text me but it's not about that no one shows up for me. Why because you annoy them because you care too much about people who don't hold you to the same level. Declan didn't know and I told Mallow and Daren not to make a big deal out of it. I turn over in my big blue blanket that I could literally get trapped in this blanket is a 10x10 foot blanket that is perfect for keeping you at the right amount of warm without overheating you. I curl into it more not wanting to move as I take my cpap mask off. I notice that the bottom has a hole in it right where the silicon meets the hard plastic just great. My room is cover in story boards and posters with a separate bookshelf for the books that I like to keep away from everyone else some that I wrote. The walls are painted a light grey color with an accent wall of triangles in varies colors. I choose to have hardwood floors because cleaning them are so much easier then carpet. I already hear the three grown men who have taken over my house already up and moving about. Lilith texted this morning seeing where the weeding is party is at and she was so mad that her mother planned this on my birthday. I told her it was fine that I rather not have anything really big. Last night right at midnight Mallow and Daren wanted to do something for it but I shot that down. I kinda feel bad though they wanted to celebrate me but honesty what the hell is there to celebrate? What me being a live and unloved or the fact that all I have ever gotten is things I don't like but pretend to because my mother made me. I also never had cake that I actually like I always had to please everyone else. Josh made it all about him and wouldn't even listen to me when I didn't want to do the things he planned. So I just act like it is another day even though deep down it does hurt that everyone thinks a text is all I deserve. I mean at least they remembered and I always wake up to a paragraph from my best friends, its just not the same as them actually spending time. I check my phone one last time and I have to be in butt fuck here in about 4 hours so that means I have to get ready now to leave so I can make it out there in time. My leg hurts a lot today, I have been trying to cut back on the pain killers. I hate the feeling of floating on a cloud and not being in control of my body. Mallow and Daren are driving with me out to the venue so I don't have to worry about driving myself. Thankfully they are two of his best friends so they know to help take care of me because Dean would most likely hurt them. I get out of bed and hobble myself into the shower since I sleep naked it is easy for me to just get in the shower. Last night before going to bed since I was a complete mess I got the dress and shoes I am wearing to this party. I shower as fast as I can as I let the steam of the shower take out some of the wrinkles in the almost skin tight dress. I am not a normal woman who wear heels with a dress. I am so much a tom boy I wear high top shoes so I don't have to worry about hurting my leg anymore then just moving. Some Ibuprofen will be enough to make it throw this hopefully if not I have one of the painkillers on standby just in case it is too much for me. After I dry off, I let the wound air dry as I take out all of my makeup and plug in my curling iron to get ready.

It never takes me long to blow dry and curl my hair. I put it in up in a hair clip to hold it while I do my makeup. I have it down to a science that takes me no longer then 20 minutes to do it while looking perfect. Secret to this science is to use beauty blenders like they direct you to use and you can have your face painted fairly quickly especially if you use a body sized blender. Most of the time is taken up by getting my smoky eye perfect as well as the hard part of putting on eye liner. Usually my mother would do it for me so one goes on fine and the other is a huge mess that I have to take off multiple times before it is enough for me not to obsess over. After another five minutes battling with my left eye liner I am finally ready to put on this black dress. I had bought it for a date but ended up never going on since the guy got called to be deployed. Since then I stay away from all military members romantically. I pull the dress and let my curled hair down. I look way too good to be going to a wedding party. I wish I could pair the biker heels I bought for the data but my leg would be screaming at me before the day was even over. I smirk as I attempt to apply my lipstick, usually I do this in my car and it comes out perfect with my lip being pierced I had to get used to it looking like it was uneven but its just where my lip is pushed up from where its at. After fitting it with some cotton swobs, I tuck my lipstick into a on-the go makeup bag for any touch ups I or Lilith will need today. I am sure she will have a team for her but you never know when you need a touch of powder so you don't look like you were sweating all day in pictures.