37 days: Holding on 2 broken promises

But so am I

POV
X

"Ow!" I say as my head hits the floor and look up to Millie with my sunglasses still on.

"Oh..shit! I'm sorry I didn't know you were sitting against the door," she say sounding surprisingly too nice.

"Umm..I mean, good..you deserved that." She says more confidently putting her hands on her hips.

I inwardly smile to myself. My girl.

I sit up rubbing the back of my head on the part that I fell on and take off my sunglasses.

"I deserve a lot more than that baby," I say and she scrunches her eyebrows together.

I put my hands up in surrender, "sorry, habit." I say glumly.

Millie crosses her arms over he chest, damn those tanned legs look fucking beautiful from where I'm at.

She notices me checking her out, "X...focus." She says annoyed.

I sit my back against the door with my elbows resting on my thighs. I involuntarily bite at my cuticles as a nervous habit and look up to Millie who is staring at my hands.

"Jesus Christ X, your hands look awful!" Millie exclaims, although she's been trying to put on a hard edge, she too caring for all the unfamiliar hate.

I chuckle, "yeah, well it's nothing like the pain I have in here," I say pointing at my chest in seriousness.

She looks down to the ground and I'm unaware of what emotion I just poked at.

I let out a loud distressed sigh.

"So, yeah, my mom came to the house today to see me." I finally say.

"How did it go?" She asks gently.

"Bad, awful, and everything under that category," I say shrugging my shoulders.

She gives me a sympathetic look.

"What happened?" Millie asks genuinely wanting to know.

"Well, it stated off as an apology, which was fake as fuck. She told me the truth about why she left," I say putting my head down focusing my eyes on the nasty carpet.

"And?" Millie asks quietly.

I put my head back up to look at her and shrug my shoulders and chuckle.

"Ghost knocked her up twenty some years ago, she cowardly walked away from the life she once lived and started a new one as if the old one never occurred, me included." I say with sorrow laced in my tone.

"Ghost? Holy shit." She says just as surprised as I was only an hour ago.

"Yeah..." I say quietly.

"And then what happened?" She asks intently.

"And then I told her how shitty of a person she is and even after all that she had the balls to try to make me a deal." I say laughing in disbelief still.

"Oh no..what was the deal?" Millie asks emphatically.

"She offered me up Ghost's location for twenty grand." I say emotionless.

Her eyes grow wide.

"Oh god, X." She says with furrowed eyebrows and shaking her head slowly in disbelief that a mother would do that.

"I didn't and don't give a fuck about where Ghost is, I'm the one that fucked up in the equation. Yeah, he's a piece of shit, betraying asshole, but so am I." I say honestly.

Millie looks surprised by all of this and I don't blame her.

"Wow," she whispers.

"Mhm, so I gave her twenty five grand instead to never show her face again..." I say feeling depressed.

"And.. she accepted..." I say as unwanted, embarrassing tears fall down my face for the hundredth time.

"Oh my god, X," Millie says with tears in her eyes too. She kneels down on the floor in front of me and gently puts a hand on my forearm. The comfort of her touch makes my tears more intense. I'm so fucking emotional lately, I haven't cried since I was ten years old and now I just can't seem to stop.

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to make you cry too, I just really needed to talk to someone." I say trying to wipe humiliating tears away.

"X stop, it's okay, I'm so sorry it went that way," she says rubbing my arm and I so desperately just want to hug her and never let go but I don't want to push it.

I try to get myself to together the best I can after a minute of comfortable silence.

"You know I can't let you stay here right?" I finally say.

She looks around the disgusting motel and scrunches her nose.

"I booked you a nice hotel room for the next two weeks, five minutes here." I say.

She shakes her head way too fast, "no, no it's okay I'll be fine here, it's only temporary."

"Millie..." I say, "I'm not taking no for answer." I kindly demand.

"I can't let you pay two weeks of hotel fees for me." She says declining my offer.

"I'd pay a whole lot more for you, baby, it's really nothing." I say and she gives me a scolding look for using that word again.

"If I can give a woman I hate twenty five grand then I sure as fuck can pay for a hotel for a woman I love." I say and I know I just struck a chord with my words revealing a look of happiness attempted to be concealed by a look of indifference.