"onika it's not the fact that you're saying sorry. i know you're sorry, when are you not? i'm upset because you constantly say it but still put us in situations where you have to say it."
"bey don't be upset with her like that, it's not entirely her fault, alright...we'll explain." blue spoke up. i slightly looked at her. we're gonna have to explain now and i have to go. we can continue this when i return, then we'll have time.
"well i have to go somewhere-"
"you're not going anywhere until you talk to me." beyoncé raised her eyebrow and i only nodded. alright then. i'm not leaving until i talk to her...
she took us to the couch and we sat down. i looked at my lap as we sat there. i'm not sure when to speak or if she even would want me to. but when she cleared her throat dramatically i figured i would. blue the one suggested we talk now, she could've spoken up. but i'm the one between a rock and a hard place, so it's fine.
"so....theres a whole thing with mya and her mom again."
"like what?"
"mahogany is trying to get her back. so she's been taking steps to making that happen. she got social services involved and there's a whole case open now...we don't know what's next but they're thinking about taking her until the case is resolved." i spoke so fast i'm surprised she heard it.
"taking her? what do you mean?" she looked frightened. i sighed chewing my lip, not wanting to say it. it's deeper than just telling her.
"like back into their custody."
"she was never in their custody though so how?"
"in order to adopt a child, there has to be a whole case and things for approval. so she had to be put into the system in order to be put into my moms care. once a foster kid, you'll always have a case in their files, no matter if adoption happened."
"oh my goodness...why now? her birthday is literally around the corner...and y'all kept this from me? why?"
"i didn't want you to do anything. you said if mahogany tried anything else you would react."
"so. don't hide anything from me again. we've been having too many issues with lying onika and i don't like the shit. it's weird. because you don't even lie. that's picking at our trust." she warned.
i kind of felt bad. i'm not a liar and i didn't think i was just lying. most of the time it's to protect us. i hate that thinks that i'm affecting our trust. not gonna lie it rubbed me the wrong way, only a bit. i understand that i'm wrong for keeping this away from her.
but why does it have to pick at our trust?
not like i'm lying about something pertaining to our relationship. it's literally just because i didn't want her to react. that's bad? there's always something that i'm doing wrong with her. jeez.
"okay can i go?" i looked at my hands. i'm not feeling this conversation anymore. and once i'm over a conversation i stop caring about it. i just wanna leave.
"where are you going?"
"to handle something for myas birthday." i stood up before grabbing my keys and phone. if i would've left out when i was supposed to then i would've been there. hopefully they don't think i'm not gonna show up.
"by yourself?"
"yes. that's how i've been doing things lately. i'll be back soon." i continued to the door then left. my frustration wasn't noticed until i slammed the door some. it surprised me myself. i had to take deep breaths while getting off the elevator into the parking garage.
then i called the venue people as i got inside the car. just to confirm that i was indeed on the way and not flaking out. they were understanding so i was grateful for that.
a couple curbs later i was pulling into the parking lot before getting out. i made sure i had my ipad so i could take pictures. i'm gonna need them so i'll know how to decorate and what to get specifically. that's if i pick this one of course.
the lady welcomed me at the door, smiles and all. i apologized for the late show and shook her hand. she showed me around, allowing me to take as many pictures i needed.
by the looks of it, this would be the one. but i still have two more to check out another time. at the end i'd told her i would keep in contact before heading out.
wouldn't believe who i ran into..
"oh hey onika." she waved at me. i smiled small at her as we stood face to face. since she's moved back i've been hoping i don't run into her with bey. "we've been catching each other a lot lately."
"yea, what a coincidence." i chuckled. i'm trying to leave.
"it's giving, that's a sign. maybe we should hangout sometimes."
"uhhh...i'll see when i'm free but i've been very busy."
"that's understandable. i'm sure we'll run into each other again. i've tried getting in contact with you but...it's as if the call doesn't go through."
yea cause bey blocked her. i didn't protest.
"mmm, i'm not sure. but i have to go now. it was nice seeing you."
"you too."
i stepped around her and headed to my car. hang out? why would she even wanna hang out with me? she's my ex, for christ sake. shouldn't she be over me by now? it's been a minute since we've even had anything. couple years now.
plus she's the one that moved away.
whatever, it doesn't even matter. i feel no way about her anyways. she'll have to get over whatever she's telling herself. i'm sure she knows i have a whole entire girlfriend.
or she better find out.
—-
there. now they're not hiding it from bey anymore 🤣
