o + b residence - 7am
i knew something would happen. it was just a feeling and it didn't leave me alone at all. so when the argument broke out, i didn't know what to do. i didn't know who to agree with. or what to say.
i'm put in such a bad position....i don't know.
"how was i supposed to know that would-"
"onika...." bey sighed heavily and rubbed her forehead. i've been trying to apologize on behalf of my mom since i know my mom is not gonna apologize herself. she's just not that type of woman. "she got mad at me over something that had nothing to do with her. all those rules are not for me. so for her to come at me like that..."
"i just said sorry i- beyoncé there's nothing else i can do."
"me neither onika."
"bey...."
"onika your mother got into a fight with mine... you think that's not gonna have some type of impact on our relationship? we're both close with our moms. then it all started because she said something to me....."
"why does it have to bother our relationship though?"
"onika im not too fond of your mom right now either, it's not just my mother." she chuckled putting her hair into a ponytail. i stopped myself from whining, feeling tears come to my eyes. "first off....why did we even have to start talking about past relationships?"
"because blue brought it up." i wiped under my eyes.
long story short, blue started talking about someone bey dated before because beyoncé called blues girlfriend ugly....then, blue proceeded to bring up the fact that bey used to have sex with him. but the way she said it, you would only understand if you were really listening.
ms tina didn't even catch it. but somehow my mom did. so carol being carol, she scrunched her face and spoke of sex before marriage. my dad tried to stop her but she would speak over him every time.
of course someone's mother wouldn't sit and let someone speak on their child, so tina retaliated. it turned into an argument, my mom called names....it was almost a physical fight.
i didn't know what to say. i didn't know what to do. they looked for me to speak up. i've never spoke up to mom like that...what was i to say?
"onika can we not do this?"
"why not?"
"because i don't want to." she looked at me with this look....i nodded, accepting the fact that there's nothing i say that'll change her mind.
"ok...that's fair." i left out and went to my room. it felt like i wanted to scream. just let all of my emotions out and cry. this is not fair! what did i do?!?
i grabbed my phone and backpack before putting my shoes on. i'm supposed to be heading to work. could barely sleep last night because i had to sleep alone...she didn't even come in my room.
it wasn't until this morning that i realized she was actually mad at me. i'm trying to fix it...
as i was leaving out, she was going inside the kitchen. i had to stop myself from saying anything to her and just went out the door.
should've trust my gut and said no to pictures.
"ma please, i'm not in the mood." i sighed after clocking in. my nerves are all over the place, i really wanna be at home. it took so much to get ready to leave knowing i have someone i love mad at me right now.
