Danny's Guide (Intro)

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Hello, apocalypse enthusiasts and reluctant survivors! You're staring at the first and probably only edition of "Danny's Guide." This means that one, I'm probably dead, and two, the advice you'll find here may not be as good as I thought. So take it with a grain of salt, eh? 

If you thought life before was tough, welcome to the world where your morning commute probably involves outsmarting brain-hungry Turned. 

I'm Danny, your not-so-humble author, part-time survivalist, and full-time sarcasm aficionado. Once, I was just a regular guy with dreams of a college degree and a steady WiFi connection. Now, I'm navigating through a world that was redesigned by a committee of maniacal aliens and their pet nightmares.

This guide is your one-stop-shop for staying alive in a world that's gone bonkers. You'll find tips on scavenging – because let's face it, supermarket aisles are now more about avoiding death traps than picking cereals - there's advice on building shelters that won't attract the attention of things with too many teeth - and strategies for keeping your sanity when everything else around you has lost theirs.

But wait, there's more! Ever wondered how to cook a meal when all your ingredients are either extinct or mutated? Need to know how to tell if your neighbor is human or a Turned in a very fresh, and thus very convincing skin suit? I've got you covered.  I've come across a lot of nasties, more than most, so hopefully this will save you a bit of a surprise when you're peering into the water and find yourself face to face with a Mirefiend for the first time. We can all hear a Behemoth coming, but we all stop and say "The fuck was that?" the first time we do. Yeah, been there, done that. But I've got the luck of the Irish, I do, and this here book will hopefully pass it on to you. 

... That, and well, I've talked to a lot of other survivors. I was going to say "yeah, I survived all these things, look at how badass I am!" but now that it's in ink and permanent and I feel bad for stealing credit but would have to find another book to write in and I already drew this sick-ass cover... No no, that won't do, credit where credit is due. I haven't encountered all these creatures personally. Now you know my dark secret. I'm a fibber. But that doesn't mean these things aren't true!!!

Oh yeah, the cover. That was me. I'm an artist. Yeah, I know that makes me sound dorky and hipster as fuck. End of the world... i'M aN aRtIsT! Let's move on. 

But, truly, as a bonus, this guide isn't just words on a page. I've thrown in my own sketches of the various freaks of nature we're up against, from Prowlers to Matriarchs, you'll find my attempts to capture their essence on paper. These aren't just doodles; they're a visual survival guide to the creatures that now call our planet home. I've even managed to find survivors that have snapped off a few lucky pictures of the bastards. 

They're rough, a bit twisted, and maybe a little grotesque – but they're real. And in the written descriptions, you'll find everything I've learned about these creatures: their habits, their weaknesses, and how to avoid becoming their next snack... Or worse, ending up being one of the nasties yourself. It's a crash course in Alien Zoology 101, taught by someone who's been in the field and lived to tell the tale.

So, whether you're a visual learner or a fan of gritty, apocalyptic prose, "Danny's Guide" has got you covered. Just remember, while these sketches and descriptions might help you recognize what's lurking in the shadows, it's your wits that will keep you alive.

In a world where the rules of nature got thrown out the window and then set on fire, survival is about being smart, resourceful, and a little bit crazy. So, buckle up, keep this guide handy, and let's show these alien invaders that Earthlings have a knack for sticking around – especially when we're not wanted.

Here's to staying alive with style, or at least with a few good one-liners!

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