Bound To The Seduction

Chapter 18: Memory I

As she headed to the bus stop, she saw a young girl, about six or seven years old, and her father walking by the bakery nearby.

"Daddy, I want that for my birthday." The little girl pointed at a pink ragdoll in the adjacent toyshop.

Her father smiled and nodded. They walked into the shop and that piqued Sarah's interest. She followed them into the shop, walking a few steps behind them but close enough to hear the conversation. Even though she did not know why she had followed them, something inside her wanted to tag along.

The little girl's dad picked an 'Elsa and Anna' poster and hid it behind his back. "Haven't you been watching Frozen recently?" he took it out and showed it to her. "Ta-da! See what I got. Do you like it?"

The little girl's eyes brightened as she held the poster. "Yes Daddy, I like it very much. We will hang this on my bedroom wall. they will watch over me every night."

"As long as you like it," he said, giving her a high-five.

"Daddy, I want that Barbie doll." She said as she pointed at a cute Barbie ragdoll.

Barbie ragdoll...

Sarah paused. Her smile froze in place as the doll triggered a memory she did not want to remember. She ran outside the toy shop trying hard to suppress her emotions. Her eyes stung and she forcefully blinked away the tears.

Daddy.

Sarah hated that word.

She jumped into the first bus that stopped and sat by the window. Trees with colorful flowers whizzed by as the bus drove faster. She could have seen sunlight arrows through the branches of the trees if she paid attention but her mind was engrossed in a memory.

Childhood memories flooded her mind.

It was her seventh birthday that day. She had stood by the door, waiting for her father to show up for her birthday. She held a pink Barbie ragdoll, the one her father had bought for her on her fourth birthday, as she waited for him at the door.

Her eyes glimmered with hope at first. She was so excited to see her father again. She couldn't wait to show him how tall she'd become. Did he grow tall too? Did he miss her as much as she did?

Sarah wanted her father to place that tiara on her head so that she could live like a princess. That's what all her friends' fathers would do on their birthdays. She wanted him to cut the cake with her, and play with her as they had done on her fourth birthday.
Minutes had turned into hours. Her little legs grew tired and weary but she refused to give up.

Sarah sat cross-legged on the door and kept on waiting despite her exhaustion. The light in her eyes dimmed a little as the sun disappeared into the horizon. The excitement in her heart had died down.

The sky had turned dark by now and Glen, her two-year-old brother, had gone to sleep. Her mother came to persuade her to go inside. Her heart felt unsettled when she considered the possibility that none of the things she had planned would take place.

"Mommy, did daddy forget my birthday again?" she asked, her innocent eyes breaking her mom's heart.

"No, darling," her mom had said, patting her tiny shoulder, "perhaps he's busy with something."

"You said that last year too." She knew her mom was lying. She straightened her back and asked the question that had been in her mind the whole time. "Mommy, does daddy hate us now? He hasn't come back in a long time."

Her mother opened her mouth to speak but Sarah's innocent eyes met hers. "Mommy, tell me the truth," she'd said in a stern voice, a rare voice for a seven-year-old. That had made her mother at a loss for what to say. She swallowed another lie she was about to make up.

Her mother blinked away the tears that had pooled in her eyes. She knelt beside Sarah and cupped her face. She thought hard about how to break the news to her daughter while imparting the least possible damage. She had caressed Sarah's cheek with her thumb as she smiled. "Darling, your father has a new family now. You should probably stop waiting for him."

Sarah stared at her mom without blinking. Her young brain could not process what her mother had said fast enough. "So, I don't have a dad anymore?"

This was a question her mother dreaded. It shattered her already broken heart into tiny pieces but she smiled through the pain. She wiped away a stray tear from her cheek. "Who said you don't have a dad anymore? From today onwards, I will be both your mommy and daddy."

"Okay," she nodded.

Sarah was surprisingly calmer than her mother had expected. But, only she knew how bad that was. She knew her daughter very well; the calmer she was, the more damage she had received. Unbearable pain shot through her heart and tears trickled down her cheeks without her noticing.

"Mommy, why are you crying?"

Sarah's voice brought her back to reality. She sniffled and wiped her face quickly. "No, no, mommy is not crying. My eyes are sweating." She got up, took a deep breath, and said, "Come, the three of us will celebrate your birthday."

Sarah let go of her favorite ragdoll and watched it emotionlessly as it fell to the ground. She stepped on it as she walked towards the table. Her mother followed her without a word.

She ate her chocolate-flavored cake in silence and then walked into her mother's bedroom. She watched her little brother's face as he slept and smiled, but the smile did not reach her eyes.

Sarah sat by the bed and kissed his small face. She stared into the distance and said softly, "Glen today is a strange day. The chocolate cake did not taste sweet at all. It is my birthday but it is also the day when Daddy died in my heart." she smiled and continued talking to the sleeping child, "don't be sad, mommy said she will be our new daddy."

She was silent for a long time, and said again, "When you grow up, don't ever ask mom about daddy, okay?" she wiped away her tears. "If you do, her eyes will start sweating and I don't like It." she sniffled and her heartbreaking voice sounded again, "All you need to know is that daddy is dead."

Sarah kissed her brother goodnight and walked back to her room on her own. She turned off the lights and got into her bed. This was the first time she had ever gone to bed alone. She was always scared to be in a dark room alone and her mother would accompany her until she fell asleep before turning off the lights.