Crazy For Your Love (Jensoo)

22| "Did Jisoo Ever . . . Mention Me?"

|Jennie|

I grin when I see the door to my suite cracked. Jisoo.

I haven't gotten to spend time alone with her all day. The spa time spilled over into the afternoon and then Nayeon wanted all of us to go with her to the Kim Brews Banquet Center to check on how the room was coming along for the reception. Now it's after two, and I'm already dead on my feet. We didn't sleep enough last night, and I need a nap, but if I have to choose between a little sleep and being ravished by my fake girlfriend, I already know which I'll choose.

Jisoo gives me butterflies, and I can't wait to be back in her arms. I need to figure out where we stand—where I stand. I guess she's made it clear what she wants. She wants more. She wants the real thing. And I think I do too.

I've never talked to anyone about what happened with Kai after Taehyung died. Never. I was always so convinced I'd sound insane—Kai convinced me of that. But once I started telling Jisoo, it all spilled out of me. Jisoo didn't make me feel crazy or try to convince me I was overreacting. She listened and made me feel safe. Understood. I didn't realize how much I needed that. So now I need to decide if what's happening between us might actually become something real. Or if maybe it is already.

I push into the room and shut the door behind me.

"Jisoo?" The lights are off, but candlelight flickers ahead, the flames seeming to dance to Dave Matthews' "The Space Between" from the bedside stereo. The song brings back memories, but I shove them away. Jisoo's trying to be sweet. He has no way of knowing that I associate this song with Kai, or that Kai would always make sure it played any time we were at a bar or party together after Taehyung died—a little reminder that was like a razor blade running across the open wound of my grief.

"Jisoo?" I call again. Did she set the stage for seduction and leave? She's a firefighter—would she really walk away from burning candles?

When I step farther into the room, my phone buzzes, and I wonder if it's Jisoo explaining that he had to run out. Instead, I have a text from the same number that sent me that awful picture. Kai.

Unknown Number: You always made me jump through such hoops for your attention, but I know this night's been on your mind as much as it's been on mine.

My stomach free-falls before surging violently back up into my throat. Candles flicker all around the bed, and on the center of the mattress there's a single red rose and a bottle of Swagger from Paradise Springs winery. The bourbon-barrel-aged wine used to be my favorite, but there's only one person alive who'd know that or know that it and this song would all bring back memories of a night better left forgotten.

••••••••••

I'm tense all night.

The rehearsal dinner is served in the gardens behind the Hayhurst mansion. It's so beautiful out here that I understand why Nayeon initially hoped to do her reception in this spot. However, destination wedding or not, the guest list grew too large, and the ballroom at Kim Brews Banquet Center was the obvious location. I reassured her that Irene would do a beautiful job making the reception everything Nayeon's dreamed of, but there is something magical about these gardens in the moonlight.

Strings of fairy lights twinkle above the tables, and a jazz quartet plays from their spot in the gazebo. We've enjoyed four delicious courses with wine pairings, and conversation flows easily as we wait for dessert. The night's grown chilly, and the staff brought out big outdoor heaters to sit on the edges of the cobblestone patio, allowing us to be comfortable in our dresses and still enjoy the starry autumn night sky.

Everything's beautiful, and I'm surrounded by my family.

I should be happy.

Instead, I feel like there's a weight on my chest too heavy to let me take in a deep breath.