Running Like Forever [Frank Iero][1]

Part 32

*

I walked into school the next day by myself. Frank had texted me early that morning to tell me he wasn't going to be able to walk with me, which was something that we had been doing a lot more recently. But I guess it was nice to walk through the crisp air most mornings and not taking Frank's car. The whole time I walked I thought about how I was going to rag on him so hard for leaving me to walk by myself. I turned the corner as I walked down the packed school hallways, to see someone familiar standing by my locker.

"I thought you weren't going to be here this morning." I said as I walked up to Frank.

He shook his head. "I just had some things to do earlier."

"At 7:30 in the morning?"

He shrugged, not giving anything away. "Yup."

I shook my head and opened my locker. "You sound like Gerard."

I noticed him tense when I said that, but relaxed when he spoke. "You'd like that wouldn't you?" He sounded almost angry.

I turned to him confused. "What?"

"I bet you wished I was more like Gerard. Maybe then you would actually like me." With that he turned on his heels and walked away.

What the fuck was that? I stood there stunned. What was he talking about? Did he think I liked Gerard? I shut my locker, following after Frank toward our homeroom. Frank sat in his normal seat, but when I sat down he turned away from me. I sighed unhappily, not fully understanding this mood swing and looked up at Mikey. He only shrugged and turned around to face the front of the classroom, none of us really knowing what to say in that moment.

"What could Frank possibly be thinking?" I asked as Mikey and I walked toward my first class.

"I really don't know, Lenny..." He contemplated his next thought. "He's probably upset because of the way you and Gee were acting last night after the gig."

"Because of the song?"

He shook his head. "No. The way you two were being all touchy and stuff."

"Gerard and I are always touchy. We're best friends!"

"I know that, but Frank-" Mikey grabbed my arm and stopped me, other students rushing around us to get to their classes on time. "Frank really likes you Lennox, if its not obvious enough, and when a guy likes a girl as much as he likes you any touching action you get from anyone but him freaks him out."

My heart speed up at his words and there was a light pink tint to my cheeks as I mumbled, "Maybe I should just talk to him about it."

"That sounds like a good plan." We started walking again, seeing as we were both now going to be late for class.

"When though?" I thought out loud.

Mikey shrugged. "As soon as possible."

I just nodded.

In that moment we made it to my classroom and after saying a quick goodbye to Mikey, I headed inside ready to be reprimanded by my teacher for coming in after the bell. All day, in every class I had with Frank he would just ignore me and every time I tried to talk to him he would turn away or acted like he didn't hear me. It kind of hurt seeing him doing this, but I was going to fix it, because I couldn't lose Frank over some stupid misunderstanding.

I had gotten a ride home from Gerard at the end of the day and to made things worse was that Frank had seen me getting out of his car when I got home. Frank stood by his car smoking a cigarette like he always did when he got home after school. I said bye to Gerard and headed toward Frank determination in my step. He averted his eyes as I approached him.

Anger immediately boiled up inside me, "What is wrong with you?!"

His head whipped up to face me, surprised by my outburst. "What's wrong with me? What's wrong with you?!"

"You're being so stupid, you know that?! I know exactly why you're mad at me." I pushed my finger against his chest to emphasize my point. "You think I like Gerard!"

"Yeah, I'm pretty freakin' sure you do." He glared down at me with a hard expression.

"Well you're wrong." I was getting nervous, but I knew what I had to do. I just had to say it.

He leaned toward me. "Please, Lennox, clarify for me."

"Because, how could I like Gerard when-" I paused having second thoughts, but spoke anyway. "When I really like you."

His mouth hung open in pure astonishment and he said nothing for the longest time. I fidgeted under his intense stare as we both just stood there in his driveway not saying a word. But I had to let him take it in and realize that I have liked him since the very beginning and that was never going to change. It took him a few moments until he finally spoke again.

"You- like me?"

A ran my fingers through my hair nervously. "Haven't we already been over this, Frank?"

"Yeah, but I thought we just weren't going to talk about it again after that."

I looked up at him sadly. "Are you saying you don't like me anymore?"

"No!!" He got all rushed and flustered, taking a step toward me. "Of course not. It's just that I- I don't want to mess up what we already have."

"Oh..." I was quiet for a moment; it was exactly like the last time we had talked about it. I just couldn't understand why he was so nervous about actually getting together. "That's- that's okay then, I guess."

With that I turned and walked up my driveway and toward my house. I didn't turn back to him when he called my name; I just kept walking until I got to my room. I didn't want to hear what else he had to say. I was getting tired of this run around, because either he wanted to be with me or he didn't.

The idea of relieving my pain in the only way I really knew how crossed my mind, making my brain hurt even more, but I had promised I wouldn't and I had to keep that promise. I didn't need another reason added onto the list of ways to lose Frank. So instead I collapsed on my bed, letting all my frustrations out on my pillow. There really wasn't anything else I could do.