Leaving Lucas today had me feeling weird. Empty inside. Like something was missing that I couldn't quite put my finger on. Instead of taking me home, I wish he would've just kept driving. I wouldn't have cared where he went. And that makes me feel guilty for so many reasons. The first one being Teddy. I hate myself for feeling even a shred of anything for Lucas while I'm with his younger brother. Especially when I'm not even sure that Lucas feels an ounce of anything for me. And if he does, who's to say that it actually matters?
Unlike Lucas, my emotions aren't just something that I can switch on and off with the snap of a finger, and I'm not looking to be that girl that Lucas gets with when it's convenient for him. I won't.
Lucas has made it clear that he doesn't do the whole girlfriend thing. So, maybe that's all the answer that I need. Maybe falling for someone like Teddy is more realistic, and falling for someone like Lucas is just destructive. I have to stop now while I still can. He just makes that so hard to do. He knows how to make me love him when I hate him and hate him when I want him. It's a mind game for him, but I'm the one getting played.
I walk into the kitchen and smell chocolate. My mom is standing behind the counter with a baking apron on.
"What's going on in here?" I ask.
"Hi, honey," she greets me.
"Hey," I say, glancing over the baking ingredients that are splayed across the counter. "What's all this?"
"This," she begins, "is just a small way of apologizing. Honey, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry for backing out on our dinner plans, but I'm even more sorry for making you feel like you're not the most important thing in my world. I try so hard to prove myself at work that I get caught up in my job. But I want you to know that you have been, are, and always will be my number one priority."
I smirk at my mom. I know how much I mean to her, but sometimes hearing it from her is the little reminder that I need every so often.
"I know, mom, and I'm so proud of the work that you're putting into your job. I just miss you, that's all."
"I miss you, too. And I promise I'm going to do better. Which brings me to this. Ta-da!" she exclaims with her arms out wide. "Tonight, we're making chocolate croissants. Just like old times."
When I was little and would have snow days at school because the weather was really bad in Cambridge, my mom and I would always stay home and bake chocolate croissants. We'd get our 'Mother' and 'Daughter' aprons on, blast the music, and spend hours just talking and laughing. It was one of the highlights of my childhood, and now that I'm thinking about it, it's been a while since we've last done it.
"Just like old times," I repeat.
"I'll grab the rest of the ingredients; you handle the music," she says, and I immediately scroll through my playlist, finally opting for Andrea Bocelli. Nothing like some classical music from one of the greats.
First up, making the dough. I watch mom combine the butter and dried ingredients.
"Mind grabbing the milk from the fridge?" she asks me.
I come back to where she's standing, milk in tow, and then pour it into the electric mixer.
"Okay, everything looks good," mom says before turning the device off. "Hands?" she asks, and I hold them out so that she can sprinkle some flour onto them, that way it's easier to roll the dough into a ball before we have to flatten it out, cover it, and place it in the fridge for 30 minutes.
***
"So," mom begins as we wait for the dough to cool, "how are things going with Teddy?"
"Uh. They're good."
"Uh, they're good?" she repeats with a laugh. "C'mon, Lily, you've got to give me more than that!"
"He's a really great guy," I state with intent in my tone. "He's taking me to dinner tomorrow night."
"How sweet! Where is he taking you?"
"I don't know. He said it was a surprise."
"Well, I'm sure whatever it is, it'll be fun."
"Yeah," I agree, but mom squints her eyes at me.
"Something the matter?" she asks.
"Nope," I'm quick to answer.
"You sure?"
"Mhm," I say through closed lips, forcing a smile.
"Okay. You know that I'm here for you, right? If there's anything that you ever want to talk about."
"I know," I smile, and this time, it's not forced. "Thanks, mom."
YOU ARE READING
The Bennett Boys
RomanceI was wrapping up my junior year of high school when my mom told me that we were moving. It was goodbye Cambridge, Massachusetts and hello Newport, Rhode Island. I knew that Newport was going to be nothing like Cambridge; I knew that I was going to...
