Ambivalent

Chapter 18: Winter

“The day you see hell is near. Brace yourself.”

His words echoes in my ears, every other time he tortures me. For the past ten days, he have been assigning me works as if I am some labour in farmer. But these things never broke me how his words and proximity acted on my heart.
But, at the end of the day, it was my mistake to let myself flow. To let his lips dominate me and be control of my heart. The spark we had ten years ago, ignited back in between us. Being touched after so many years, I lost myself in him. In pleasure, a paradise of lust that can make a heaven of hell. That can bring a new Winter out of me, who even I didn’t knew existed.
But the punishment of loosing myself was delivered almost immediately. His words, the way he fabricates me in his sentences, breaks my heart. The creator of my painting in his heart. He talks of trust right? Where is his trust on me? I know what I did, how we separated was wrong. I didn’t do any justice to him, but did he thought even for once, why? Just why on earth I did that? No. If he would have trusted me even minutely, if he would have known me, understood me in those nine months, he would have known I will never harm him.
These feelings, that I am experiencing recently are new to me. From past ten years, never have I ever had these feelings for him. This anger, this irritation where I am picking up his mistakes. And as far as I can recall, this all is just because of how Theodore is behaving with me. Even though he is not the one to be blamed.

After two days of incident that I am going to regret for life, I dug my head in the files spread in front of me, trying my best to get done with them as soon as possible and give some rest to my throbbing back. If things continue to go like this, the day when my hair turns grey because of continuous tension and my muscles of back turns tensed because of work load, is not so far. No one can stop me from achieving these goals of mine within a year, except of Theodore. Who can actually help me by stop pulling his silly tricks, stop making me run for his fucking cup of perfect coffee, and stop his filthy hands to creep on my body.
In general, I never loose my practicality. But his recent act up have got me frustrated to the extent where soon I will seen pulling my hairs.
After he crashed on lunch with Richard’s parents, my days have turned more hectic. Richard called me and gave a good fifteen minutes long speech of how I am not a perfect daughter in law and how I should get my acts clean up. I did listened to him in silent, but when he mentioned of how I still cant get over my ex, caused the frustration hovering over my head overpower me and I shouted at him. For the first time in this weird relationship of ours, I showed him his face on the mirror. I showed that orgy addicted bastard what he is and even claimed that if he has this much of problem with my life, he can happily walk out of it and find any other bride who will accept this fucked up life of his’. Huffing I hung up call on his face, when he turned silent after one on one reality with his life.

I was trying to clean my desk which was as messy as my life, when Theodore walked out of his cabin, as if he is the king or something. Well technically, he is but of his company, not my life.

“We will be having dinner at Snow Dove Austin.”

“I don’t want to. I am not free.”

I have been giving him cold shoulder since the time he kissed me and called me gold digger. This not the first time he did so  but anyways, this time I want him to realize the mistake he made and he cant keep me calling that.

“Come out of your own created world Winter. Even if you throw yourself in my arms, I wont take you for a dinner date.”

I looked up at him. Have he lost it? Fore night ago he was the one who came asking me for a date. I sighed and looked back at the file placed in front of me.

“I will be having dinner with Mr. Taylor. And as my secretary, you must follow me.”

“Fine.”