Thats Life

Chapter Fifteen

"There are not a lot of great people in this world. I'm so lucky and grateful for Katie. With her, everything just kind of clicks, and feels right."

May fucking sucks. I cannot believe how much May sucks, it's only the fourth day and I haven't been this low since I was lying face down in the toilet at school.

I've been skipping school again, which is weird because I've been really wanting to talk to Katie. I just can't even explain how hard it's been to leave my bed and I'm at a point where I don't really care for help either. I don't even care if she's mad at me or doesn't want to be my friend anymore.

I laid on my side starring at the wall, way much has been happening at a time. Recently, I can't stop thinking about the things my dad said to me, or the fact that no one has talked about it since. I have been trying so hard to push everything down, to forget about it or ignore it, but I can't. Why hasn't anyone mentioned it, or asked me about it?

I should have treated everyone better growing up, what if I really am the reason everyone is the way they are in this family, dad is a shit person but hes never been a liar. I am the only one fucking up this bad, even the kid younger than me is doing better so I must be where things fucked up.

I don't know how long I've been laying here, or honestly how many days it's been since I did lay here. But I heard the front door open and assume its Tyson. Will and Suzie are at school, Tyson disappeared shortly after they left so it's just been me and dad in the house. The energy in the house is so weird, no one has even mentioned me missing school, or resorting back to never leaving my room. I could be on drugs again, and no one would know. Tempting. Everything aside, I figured I should go say hi, make it known that I'm still alive even if it is just to Tyson.

I drag myself up and put on one of my black t-shirts, I don't even think it's clean but it doesn't smell bad so I'll call it a win. When I turned the corner of the hallway, I am met with my mom standing in the living room instead of Tyson. "Mom?"

"Oh! You scared me, I thought everyone would be gone." She never looked at me, just walked past me to the chair in the Livingroom and sat down, she leaned over to take her shoes off.

"I don't feel well, so I stayed home today." I followed her and sat on the couch next to the chair. "Can I ask you something?" My hands instinctually come up to my hair and push it out of my face.

She made a face like she really didn't want to have a conversation but nodded anyway. I hate when my children inconvenience me by wanting to talk, especially when I've been missing for months. How dare I intrude on her peace.

I ignore the feeling it gives me to be almost dismissed and jump right in. "Did I fuck the family up?"

She threw her shoes over to the wall and turned towards me surprised with her eyes wide. "Why would you think that?"

I shrugged "Your always gone, dad beats the shit out of me, Everyone's better than I am, they say I act like dad." I know William said he didn't ever actually think that I acted like dad. But I know he does, they all do. "Where do you go when you leave?"

She thought about it for a moment probably trying to decide if she wanted to lie or not.

"Just out. Sometimes I need to get away. All you boys remind me of your dad, and sleeping on the couch gets old." Her answer, one filled with hate but also a way to distract from the first part of my question. She didn't say I wasn't the reason our family is so screwed up.

"So you leave, only because you want to get away from your family? For months at a time?"

She shrugs "Katie's okay. But you have to understand, there's a lot of pressure to raising you boys."