Where You Belong

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Jongin's POV

I could hear music coming from Jaehyun's room as I approached the door. I knocked lightly on it and waited until his voice came over the music, inviting me in. He was already turned around facing me at his desk when I opened the door and walked in. He looked like he was doing homework, with a word document open on his laptop and a book next to that.

"Sorry, did I interrupt you?" I said, standing by the door with my hand still around the knob.

"No," he replied, shaking his head and glancing at his computer. "This isn't due for another month. I was bored, so I thought I'd get ahead a bit." I chuckled, thinking about how much he reminded me of Kyungsoo. "What's up?"

"Oh, just saying goodnight, but also dropping this off." I walked over to him and handed him one of the postcards that recently came from Lily. This one was from California and had a photo of redwood trees on the front of it. "She wrote in her other one specific directions about how this one was for your eyes only. Something about an inside joke?"

He snickered and flipped it around to read the back. "I told her she better take a picture of the redwood forest if she ever went to California. Not exactly what I meant, but it's good to see she can remember a promise long enough to keep it," he said. He then stood up from his chair and pinned it to his whiteboard calendar with a magnet. On there, he also had the date of his official pack initiation written down, exactly one week after his 18th birthday. 

"I can't believe you'll be 18 soon," I commented kind of absentmindedly, my eyes staying glued to the calendar for a while. Jaehyun was grinning faintly and looking at me when I came out of my trance. I laughed again and glanced down at my feet. "Sorry, doing the sentimental dad thing again, I know."

He chuckled under his breath. "It's fine. You are my dad after all." 

The room fell quiet again after a thought came to me. "And you're, uh, pretty sure you want to stay here with us? There's not like another pack you'd want to join or anything?" I was speaking as both his dad and the alpha--but mostly as his dad who wanted to know if he had to prepare for his son to fully leave the nest. But based on the way he arched an eyebrow and squinted, I got the feeling I wouldn't have to do that quite yet. 

"Yeah, I'm...pretty sure," he said with a faint nod. "Is there a reason I shouldn't be?" 

I shook my head, perhaps a little too quickly. "No, not really, nothing urgent anyway," I said, slightly tripping over my own thoughts. "I just, you know, don't want you to feel obligated or go against your own grain or something like that. Joining this pack...brought up some things for me when I was around your age, so I thought it was possible that it might for you, too. Not that your childhood was nearly as traumatic as mine, but still, you know? Doesn't mean it's not possible."

"Yeah, no, I think my mind is made up," he said with another breathy laugh. "But thanks for asking, dad." In some ways, I envied how self-assured he was. But I figured I just kind of had to pat myself on the back and chalk it up to how Kyungsoo and I did as his parents. 

"Right, okay, I'll get out of your hair now." I shook my head a little and put on a smile. "Goodnight, bud. Don't stay up too late."

He hummed and nodded. "Night, dad." By the time I was completely out of his room, his eyes were back in his book, and I smiled to myself before shutting the door. 

It's always interesting to think about how well Jaehyun and Lily turned out despite having me as a dad, especially as I watched them become adults. Eight years with my parents gave me a general idea of what a good parent was, but by the time I was expecting my own, I had no idea of the specifics. So, like I did for almost ten years on my own, I was really just making shit up as I went along and trying not to pass too much of my emotional trauma on to them. I guess the fact that both of them never seemed to never even question whether or not they were going to stay in the pack was a good sign that I had done that. 

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