Moonlight: Stars, Eclipses, & Full Moons

Memories

Jongin's POV

The nostalgia hit me before we were even officially there. The intensity built the closer we got, making it slightly harder for me to breathe normally and clouding my mind with memories. It was for this reason that I was hesitant to accept Jaejoong's invitation to join them on the day of my parents' death anniversary. But ultimately, I knew it'd be good for Jaehyun and Lily to see where I grew up and hear stories of the good times I had there. Just because that place had been tainted for me didn't mean it had to be for them. 

It still looked the same despite feeling so different. It was easy for me to imagine the days I had spent racing with the other kids or following my dad around like his personal shadow as he tended to his responsibilities. The smile that developed when I thought about those times didn't last long when I tried to remember what it was like to be young again and ignorant of what Fate had in store for me. Lily and Jaehyun's laughter lifted me out of my own head as they hopped from stepping stone to stepping stone trying to avoid touching the grass and dried leaves. The next thing I felt was a hand slide against mine, turning to Kyungsoo to see him smiling at me. 

"You okay in there?" he asked rather quietly, rubbing his thumb against my skin. 

I hummed, nodding and smiling faintly. "I'm trying to be," I answered, to which he held my hand tighter. Only a little further up ahead, I could make out somebody walking toward us and figured it was either Jaejoong or Yunho coming to greet us. Sure enough, the closer we got, the easier it was to see Yunho smiling and waving. 

"If it isn't the infamous Kim Family," he said as Lily and Jaehyun stopped walking and we tried to catch up. He looked down at the kids. "And how are you two? You seem to have gotten taller since the last time I saw you..."

"And you have more grey hairs," Lily blurted out as an observation.

"Lily, what have we told you about filtering your thoughts before you say them?" I scolded, my footsteps slowing to a stop behind them. 

"Eh, don't worry about it." Yunho waved a hand at us nonchalantly. "No harm in joking every now and again, right?" He rustled the top of Lily's hair. "Besides, it's true. I think I see a new one every morning." Lily and Jaehyun giggled at that, which made Yunho chuckle back. "Now, why don't you two run up the house? I think Uncle Jaejoong said something about baking cookies for tomorrow night. I'm sure he could use a couple of good sous chefs."

"I'm a good sous chef! I help appa all the time!" Jaehyun boasted proudly. 

"Then it sounds like the perfect job for you. Run along now," Yunho replied. The kids looked back at us for confirmation and then obliged once we nodded in agreement. We all watched as they got further away and eventually disappeared into the house, at which point he turned around. "And what about you two? How are you feeling?" 

I glanced at Kyungsoo, whose silence told me to answer first. "Oh, you know, I'm just trying to be happy for the kids," I said. "It wouldn't be fair for them to think of death and loss every time they come here. And besides, how often do these things fall on the night of a New Moon? They should be able to enjoy themselves and make their own memories without mine getting in the way."

"Alright, but please don't hesitate to step away if anything is too much. Nobody will judge you, even now. As my mother used to say, it takes time for time to heal," Yunho said.

"Thanks, I appreciate it, really," I replied with a small smile. In response, Yunho patted my shoulder and smiled at me. 

"I suppose we should head up to the house, too. Jae has been talking about seeing you guys all day," he said, getting some small laughs from Kyungsoo and me. We followed him on the short journey toward their house, making brief small talk on the way there. The front door creaked a little as Yunho opened it for us, which almost immediately alerted Jaejoong to arrival.