Moonlight: Stars, Eclipses, & Full Moons

Roots

Seungjoon's POV

Being adopted is kind of weird. Like when I was sitting at the dinner table with my parents as they asked me about graduation, I was thinking about how lucky I was to have parents who were so interested in my life but also wondering if my birth parents would have been. I thought about them a lot and can remember several moments like that, where I wondered what could have been had whatever happened that made them abandon me not happened. I mean, I did enjoy growing up with the pack and I knew I probably ended up in a better situation than I would have had Sehun and Luhan not adopted me, but I was the only human among werewolves. They didn't scare me so much as the years went on, but sometimes I admittedly felt like an outsider. They all had their pack bonds and while no one ever did anything to make me feel left out, I just didn't have that--not with my parents or with Jaehyun or any other of my cousins or uncles. And even in a pack where blood didn't make family, knowing I wasn't truly related to any of them made me feel lonely sometimes. 

But I never wanted to come off as ungrateful so I never mentioned any of this to Luhan and Sehun. Then again, it's kind of weird to feel like I need to be grateful to them for something that seems so basic, right? Maybe it isn't and I'm just overthinking, but it's a hard feeling to ignore and even harder one to understand. 

"I'm honestly fine with anything, dad. It really isn't cause for a grand celebration."

Luhan immediately set his glass back down and looked at me like I was crazy. "What nonsense, of course it is! It's not every day that someone graduates culinary school at the top of their class," he replied. 

"Jaehyun did it."

"Yeah, well, he's too smart for his own good and so is one of his parents so," he retorted, admittedly making me laugh. "But if you don't want a huge celebration, that's fine. At least tell us what gifts we can get you, though. I know you're practically your own independent person and all, but it would feel weird to not acknowledge your achievements."

I tried to cover my flushing cheeks with a nervous smile and chuckle. "Just a small thing here would be fine," I said. "And I don't need any gifts. I think there are some housewarming gifts I haven't even touched from people I don't even know."

Sehun shrugged and grinned. "Werewolves can be quite chatty, so it wouldn't surprise me if some of the other packs heard about it," he said. 

"You don't say," I replied, to which he just laughed and took a drink of water. 

"Okay, okay, so maybe dinner here with just our pack and maybe a couple of extra gifts? I'll say they aren't necessary, so that way if people do get you any, no one can blame me," Luhan chimed in, bringing the topic back on track. 

If it wasn't obvious, I kind of hated being the center of attention. More than that, though, I hated looking unappreciative, so I just nodded my head in agreement. "That's fine, I can deal with that."

He clapped his hands. "Goodie, I'll talk to Kai about it tomorrow," he said. He looked at me with adoring eyes and smiled somewhat emotionally. "I'm just so proud of you and how far you've come. I'd scream it from the mountaintops, but I'll rein it in for you."

I blushed again. "Thanks, dad." The thought hit me again and before the guilt could sink in, I decided to speak up. "There is one thing I've been wanting to do...one thing I've been kind of scared to talk to you about."

They glanced at each other, probably in worry, but looked back at me soon after. "Okay, what is it?" 

I felt myself growing more discouraged and scared the longer I was quiet, so I just cleared my throat and hoped whatever I said would make sense. "I've been thinking a lot about my birth parents--well, I usually do, but especially with graduation coming up, I have been more. And I...I think I want to see if I can m-meet them."